Three husbands went out in the hay mows to hide In the hay mows to hide where their wives ne’er looked. Each said as he rolled himself o’er on his side, “I guess I will snooze, for I know I am booked, For men may swear, but women will dust, And before I’ll move that stove I’ll be cussed―― I’ll stay right here till morning!” Three Judges sat up on their benches to judge Three cases that came from a house-cleaning row; The parties asserted they never would budge, But wanted divorces “right here and right now.” So the men went off and the women went home, And hereafter will do their house-cleaning alone, While their former partners snicker. _United States Paper._ ―――― THE THREE WORTHLESS FELLOWS. Three worthless young fellows went out in the night, Went out in the night when the sun went down, They wandered along ’neath the moon’s pale light, And smoked their cigars as they walked down town. For men will go and women will weep, ’Tis useless to grieve, ’tis wiser to sleep, Tho’ they don’t come home till morning. Three worthless young fellows looked up at the moon, Looked up at the moon as they went their way, Each thought of O’Shaunnessy’s big saloon, Where every night they could billiards play. For men will play and women will weep, ’Tis useless to grieve, ’tis wiser to sleep, Tho’ they don’t come home till morning. Three worthless young fellows got safe to the door, Got safe to the door as the clock struck nine, Each well knew the place, they had been there before, And drank of the brandy, and ale, and wine. For men will drink and women will weep, ’Tis useless to cry, ’tis better to sleep, Tho’ they don’t come home till morning. Three worthless young fellows came out in the street, Came out in the street as the clock struck three, Two stalwart policemen they chanced to meet, And were marched straight along to the armoury. For men will sing and women will weep, ’Tis useless to grieve, ’tis wiser to sleep, Tho’ they don’t come home till morning. Three worthless young fellows came home in the morn, Came home in the morn as the clock struck ten; They “went out for wool,” but alas, were shorn, And they wished themselves anywhere else just then. For men will sin, and women will weep, ’Tis waste of affection, forget it in sleep, And dream till the dawn of the morning. _United States Paper._ ―――― A ROYAL FLUSH.