_All_―― For he _is_ the captain of this Home Rule Corps; And a right good captain too! _Captain_―― I’ve had many a sore fall, Ere made captain of you all, But you’re a promising crew! _All_―― He’s had many a sore fall, Ere made captain of us all, And we’re a promising crew. _Captain_―― I’ll hit upon a plan, To please the Parnell clan, Yet keep united Nations Three; They’ll play Parli’ment for diversion, Ne’er bother ’bout coercion Nor brick-bat Constabul’ry! _All_―― What, never? _Captain_―― No, never! _All_―― What, NEVER? _Captain_―― HARDLY ever! _All_―― Hardly ever brick-bat Constabul’ry! Then give three cheers and one cheer more, For the daring captain of this Home Rule Corps. _The North British Daily Mail._ February 8, 1886. ―――― GIANT LANDLORD. I’m the curse of my country, the terror of all, Especially those who are feeble and small; I’m a grabber of land, and the people know me As a big-acred Landlord and J. of the P. Yes, I am a J. of the big, big P., And a very funny J. I’m too; For I never, never saw any practice in the law, And I never know what to do. But the clerk to whom I look, finds the law out in a book, And he whispers what it ought to be; And the pris’ners at the bar, Who or what-so-e’er they are, They never mercy get from me! _Jack_―― What, never? _Giant L._――No, never! _Jack_―― What, never? _Giant L_.――No, never! No, never mercy get from me! _Jack and the Villagers_―― Then give three groans, and three times three, For the cruel J. of the big, big P. Aye, give three groans, and three times three, For the J, of the big, big P. _Truth_. Christmas Number. 1884. ―――― LORD BEACONSFIELD’S SONG. When I was a lad I served a term As clerk to a decent attorney’s firm; But the trammels of the office were so vile a bore, That I longed to be stepping from the big front-door! I slipped through that portal so read_ilee_, That now I am a noble and, to boot, K.G.! As novel-writer I made such a mark, That a Seat was discovered for the lawyer’s clerk; Then I sneered and flouted with a smile so bland, Till at last I had the Tories in my own right hand! I chaffed my opponents in a style so free, That now I am a noble, and a big K.G.!