We’ve long opined the House should prove a sort of hornet’s nest; At least to turn it into one we’ve done our little best; And though our pranks upon ourselves no credit seem to bring, Still, when the Grand Old Man’s our game――we’re up to anything! We gibe at him like this, we snap at him like that; We yawn or laugh: sometimes we chaff, or contradict him flat; And, if he make a slip, We roar and yell and skip, And trust our brass may muster pass Somehow for Statesmanship! If you should think our posturings our Party but degrade, Reflect, “Our Party’s” but ourselves, and we’re all ready made: Tact, reason, judgment to their work, wise politicians bring, But when the Grand Old Man’s the butt――why, fools can have their fling. So, we gibe at him like this, we snap at him like that; We yawn and laugh; sometimes we chaff, or contradict him flat; And, if he make a slip, We have him by the hip! By Jove, our brass, though not high-class, Is all our Statesmanship. It isn’t that we really mean to irritate the Chair, Or worry old Sir Stafford till he’s fit to tear his hair, Nor o’er our friends do we desire our party mud to fling, But when the Grand Old Man gets up――we’re up to anything! So, we gibe at him like this, we snap at him like that, We yawn, we laugh; sometimes we chaff, or contradict him flat; And, if he make a slip, Like Cannibals we skip, And show the House what depths of _nous_, Has Jingo Statesmanship! _Punch._ November 11, 1882. The cartoon at the head of this parody, drawn by Sambourne, represented Lord Randolph Churchill, with a note of interrogation; Mr. Ashmead Bartlett, with a peacock’s feather; and Sir Drummond Wolff, with a sunflower; clad in _Patience_ costumes, and adopting the attitudes assumed by the Duke, the Colonel, and the Major, when singing the original trio. ―――― SONG.――THE SOCIAL BELLE. It’s clear, if I’m to hold my own, I must, with ardent zest, To supplement my natural charms attempt my artful best. What Nature’s done is very well, but Art can do yet more To round, to smooth, to renovate, to polish, and restore. So I lace myself like this (_does so_), I pad myself like that (_does so_), Make what is angular look round, and what bony is look fat. I hair-pin on this hair (_does so_), Frisettes I stick in there (_does so_), And to be in the fashion quite this bird-cage thus I wear.