A very long-nosed young man, An evil-disposed young man, An oily-tongued, empty pate, Down with the Church and State―― Brother to Dilke young man. A very astute young man, A remarkably ’cute young man, A very good act is his Gainst corrupt practices―― Try it at Taunton young man. A “Rabbit and Hares” young man, Confront-me-who-dares young man, A modern Trebonius, Mighty Pomponius―― Take-care-of-himself young man. A slap-at-the-Crown young man, A levelling down young man; A robbery, jobbery, Quakery, snobbery, Chamberlain-Bright young man. A dignified grand young man, A lord of the land young man; A stand-no-rebukery, Heir to a dukery, Devonshire House young man. A genial and kind young man, Who does all the good that he can; But the job quite bewilders Poor darling old Childers, Our army reform young man. A stolid and square young man, A troubled-with-care young man; A buckshotty, bullety, Utter futility, Message-of-peace young man. A plausible, bland old man; A shifty-as-sand old man; To aid Revolution Laws, Land, Constitution, He’d fling to the winds, old man. _The Morning Post._ January, 1882. ―――― THE FLIPPITY-FLOP YOUNG MAN. I once was a matter of fact young man, And thrived on port and sherry; But now I’m a kind of a cracked young man, The reverse of or-din-ary. I flip and I flop (_echo_) All over the shop (_echo_) And take it for granted you can; I’m a very Sunflowery, Aprily showery, Eastcheapy, Towery man. _Chorus_―― I’m a very æsthetic young man, A non energetic young man, Slippity sloppity over the shoppity, Flippity flop young man. I once was a hymny and tract young man, And sternly opposed to stooping; A kind of a stick up the back young man, But now I incline to drooping, Consummately if (_echo_) On no account stiff (_echo_) I scarcely know how I began; I’m a bitter and mildy, naturey childy, Oscary Wylde-y man. _Chorus_―― I’m a Fuller’s earth colour young man, A greeny and “yuller” young man: Pretty externally “Patience” and “Colonelly,” Utterly, utter young man. I once was a cobby and hack young man. And a little bit calico bally, A picture card out of the pack young man, And frequently Music Hally. I’d sing and I’d shout (_echo_) “Poor ’Liza” about (_echo_) And after the ladies I ran, Said Jenny to Amily, Oh, he’s a jammily, “Morally, family man.” _Chorus_――