When I went to the City a knowing young man (Said I to myself, said I), I’ll follow the fashion as much as I can (Said I to myself, said I), I’ll live upon credit when minus of cash, In the eyes of the world I will cut such a dash, That envious chappies shall cry, “Can’t he ‘mash’!” (Said I to myself, said I). I’ll never drink anything else but best “cham.” (Said I to myself, said I), Or “cotton” to fairies who’re not “real jam” (Said I to myself, said I); But of dear little pets I will have the first pick, And dress in a style most decidedly “chick.” I’ll get from my tailor unlimited tick (Said I to myself, said I). When the “shop” is shut up, and the evening begun (Said I to myself, said I), I’ll then sally forth for some frolic and fun (Said I to myself, said I), I’ll ogle the girls at the Gaiety bar, Or, soothed by the smoke of a pipe or cigar, I’ll list to the song of the music-hall star (Said I to myself, said I). If I must be a clerk to be perched on a stool (Said I to myself, said I), I’ll not give up “mashing,” I’m not such a fool (Said I to myself, said I). So now where’s that berth advertised in the _News_? I’m sure with my figure they cannot refuse―――― Hallo! what is this――“No mashers!” the deuce! (Said I to myself, said I). _Funny Folks._ May, 1884. A political imitation of this song appeared in _England_ for July 4, 1885, but it had little interest, and is now out of date. THE FAIRY QUEEN’S SONG. “OH, NATION GAY.” (Mr. Shaw claimed ten thousand pounds as compensation for his unjust imprisonment by the French.) _England sings to France._ Oh, nation gay. Think you, because Your brave array Poor China awes, _I’d_ disobey Stern Justice’ laws? Because you’re sly, And not above A tendency The weak to shove, Resemble I The timid dove? Oh, timid dove! Bird of Ovidius Naso! This heart of mine Is not as thine, And no man dares to say so! On ire that glows With heat intense Turn, France, the hose Of pounds and pence, And out it goes At some expense! I must maintain Stern Justice’ law―― That fact is plain; So kindly draw A cheque, and gain The heart of Shaw! Oh, Mister Shaw! Long by the Gaul kept under, Would thy crusade Without my aid Attain its end, I wonder? _Funny Folks._ September, 1883. ―――― SONG OF THE LAWN TENNIS CHAMPIONSHIP. I.