Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. V
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. V
Parodies
“And when the ground was white with snow,
And I could run and slide,
My brother John was forced to go,
And he lies by her side.”
“How many are you, then,” said I,
“If they two are in heaven?”
The little Maiden did reply,
“O Master! we are seven.”
“But they are dead; those two are dead!
Their spirits are in heaven!”
’Twas throwing words away; for still
The little Maid would have her will,
And said, “Nay, we are seven!”
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH.
――――
NEW PEERS.
The Poet Wordsworth is supposed to propose to King William IV. that
he, with Coleridge, Southey, Rogers, Campbell, Moore, and Croly shall
be made Peers, there being then a necessity to create Peers in order
to carry the Reform Bill, which had already passed the Commons.
A driver of a rattling cab,
Or gorgeous omnibus,
That passeth every great man by,
What could he know of us?
I met a driver such as this,
And I knew that he was king,
For his steeds trod over classic ground,
And they made its echoes ring.
He bore a thousand books along,
The best their authors had,
And his praise was fair, and very fair,
But his censure made me mad.
“Why come you here, why come you here,
And how many may you be?”
“We each come here to be made a peer,”
I said, “and seven are we.”
“And where are the seven――I see but one?”
I answered, “seven are we;”
But Rogers is digging up some old pun,
And Southey has gone to see.
“Tom Campbell is shaking Bentley’s hands,
And Croly a sermon giving,
In praise of the good Lord Chancellor,
Who popped him into his living.
“Coleridge is now expounding why
The Latin for “fish” is pisces,
While Moore has lunched on one lady’s sigh,
And will dine on another’s kisses.”
Then did the mighty king reply,
“Seven are ye, I see,
But the devil a peer in all the lot
Shall ever be made by me.”
With a rolling eye, and a visage sage,
I gazed on the glorious heaven,
Then turned away in a furious rage,
And shouted, “_We are seven._”
_The National Omnibus_, November 4, 1831.
――――
THE TRUSTEE.
(_A True Story._)
The subject is that of a Trustee, who has been persuaded to accept a
trust under the persuasion that as a mere trustee of property, the
enjoyment of which he has nothing to do with, no liability of any kind
can possibly attach to him. The simplicity with which he adheres to
the impression of his being only a trustee, while suits at Law and in
Equity, with their consequent costs, shower down upon him, will remind
the reader of the innocent exclamation of “We are Seven!” so
affectingly persisted in by the little child in the famous poem of
Wordsworth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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