“We said it was a jolly world, And everybody stated That what we read of want and wrong Was much exaggerated, “That on the whole we really thought Things went uncommon well―― When the Remembrancer bawled out, ‘Gog! what a hawful smell.’ “The Mayor he started to his feet, Out of his lordly doze, And ramm’d his scented handkerchief Close up unto his nose. “And as the smell came foully round, We gasp’d and spit, and swore; Such an abominable stench We’d never smelt before. “And after comments fierce and fast On that unsavoury theme, For reasons which I need not name, Each turn’d him to the stream. “When fouler, fouler rose the smell, And then we did diskiver The source of all that awful stench, Dear Gog, it was the River! “The river it was yellow mud, With putrid colours varied, And every kind of filthy thing Upon the tide was carried. “Dead dogs rotund, and garbage vile, And slime, and scum, and muck; Clung round as in a fœtid lake, And oozed, and stank, and stuck. “And in the mess a drowning cat Mid seven drown’d kittens sprawl’d, And her great eyes stared wildly out. And piteously she squall’d. “There was a blunderbuss on board――” “Old Cock, what _are_ you at―― Are you not well?” “O gentle Swell, _I took and shot the cat_.” PART II. We pull’d――at least the rowers did,―― How long I cannot say, But up to Richmond’s pleasant banks At length we made our way. “There ran the river pure and bright, Without a speck or stain; So once it ran at Westminster, And so might run again. “We all revived――began to laugh―― And then went down to dine, And all bad odours were forgot In my Lord Mayor’s good wine. “We eat and drank, and drank and eat Back in our chairs we leant; We said it was a jolly world, And folks should be content. “We own’d the Thames’s scent was strong, And said the labouring classes Who lived beside and drank the tide Were very stupid asses. “For why not move, as we had done, Out of the stench’s way, And why not drink the sort of lush That we had drunk that day? “We eat and drank, we drank and eat, With toasts and speeches hearty―― When Gog! that Cat’s infernal eyes, Glared in upon the party. “In at the cabin window glared, Like the red fires of――well, But what was worse, along with her The creature brought the Smell. “Into the cabin pour’d the stench, Suffusing all the air, And instant every Alderman Fell down beside his chair. “And there we sat upon the floor, Unable for to rise. While, gazing in malicious sort, Glared down that Cat’s green eyes. “And greener grew those fiendly orbs, (Ay, greener than green fat),―― As, twixt a mew and screech we heard―― _‘Who was it Shot the Cat?’_” PART III.