“He fareth best, who loveth best All fees, both great and small; For the Bench declares that the etiquette Of the Bar is ‘Pocket all.’” The Barristere whose bag is light, Whose wig with age is hoar, Passed from my sight――a thoughtful wight I crossed St. Stephen’s door, And heard debates my brain that stunned, ’Bout currency and corn. A sadder and not wiser man. I woke the morrow morn. _Punch._ November 20, 1847. ―――― THE PROLIX ORATOR. It is a prolix orator And he stoppeth one J. B. “By thy strange long beard and vacant eye Now wherefore stopp’st thou me? “My business calls I’ve work to do Which I would fain begin; My House is met, a question set That I’ve an interest in.” He holds him with his eager hand: “I rise to move,” quoth he―― “Move off! unhand me, long beard loon!” Eftsoons his hand dropt he. He holds him with his vacant eye, Spell-bound JOHN BULL stands still: And listens like a gaping child: The orator hath his will. (_Six verses omitted._) _Punch_ (1849) on Thomas C. Anstey, M.P. for Youghal, the “Prolix orator.” ―――― THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT ALDERMAN. PART I. It is an Ancient Alderman, And he stopped one of three; “By thy gouty hand and ruby nose, Now wherefore stopp’st thou me? “The Adelphi doors have open’d long, And I would save my tin; My order’s lost at seven o’clock, Permit me to go in.” He holds him with his gouty hand, “There is the Thames,” quoth he; “Bother the Thames,” the other cried; “Jump in, and let me be.” He holds him by the glittering guard, The Stunning Swell stood still, And listens in most sulky style; The Alderman hath his will. The Stunning Swell against a lamp Leant, as if bored to death. And thus gasp’d on that Alderman, With brevity of breath. “The Mayor appear’d, the barge was steer’d, Merrily we did drop,―― The Alderman, in City barge,―― Along on our Swan-Hop. “At the Blackfriars we did embark, Where gapes the mighty sewer.” The Stunning Swell he stamp’t his foot, For he heard the overture. Mellon hath mounted on his stool, The desk he tappeth thrice―― Four Roberts now the Swell must pay, Or wait for the half-price. “We pulled――at least the rowers did―― Bang through the Bridges three, And Lambeth Reach, and Chelsea Reach, We pass’d full merrily. “And then the hour of lunch was come, Our appetites wax’d strong, We eat and drank, and drank and eat; The Chaplain sang a song. “We drank and eat, we eat and drank, Till full was every sinner; And then we thought we’d go on deck, While Staples laid the dinner. “We lean’d along the barge’s seats, Or o’er the bulwarks bent; We said it was a jolly world, And folks should be content.