“Know then, false Equilateral, “No Bridge thou’lt take to-day; I, with two more to help me, Will keep ye all at bay. In these five lines a thousand May well be stopped by three; Now who will stand on either hand And keep the Bridge with me? Then outspake gallant Beta, Of Grecian blood was he, “Lo! I will stand on thy right hand, And keep the Bridge with thee.” And spake a stout Centurion, A Roman, surnamed C, “I will abide on thy left side, And keep the Bridge with thee.” The three stood calm and silent, And watched the foeman’s line, As from its right stepped out to fight Theta’s well-known Co-sine. And Vector the Quaternion―― Vector, whose fourfold power Had puzzled many a weary head, And kept it aching out of bed Long past the midnight hour. C went at once for Vector And with a deadly blow, Of his good blade he quickly laid The great Quaternion low: For in that hour had Vector’s power Been risen to the tenth. Little cared C I ween for he Had smote him to the Nth. Next Beta marked how Theta Advanced against his line, So with his trusty tangent he Bisected the Co-sine. “Lie there,” he cried, “fell tyrant! No longer shalt thou mark How Girton’s gold-haired graduates sigh With vain endeavours to descry The variable length of Pi In thine accursed Arc.” Then X on his Equation Advanced, and all were mute, For in his hand he waved his brand, A knotty old cube root; Thrice round his head he waved it, And then the weapon sprung Like bolt from bow, a mighty blow, On Alpha’s crest it rung. He reeled, and first on Beta Leaned, for a breathing space, Then dashed his Co-efficient In the Equation’s face: And loud he cried, “No more thy pride My inmost soul shall vex;” Then with a stroke, ’twould cleave an oak, Eliminated X. * * * * * They gave him out of Euclid Ten cuts so erudite, Not thrice ten senior wranglers Could solve ’twixt morn and night; They gave a square, it still is there, And every dunce derides, With twice the double ratio Of its homologous sides. And on the square they raised him A vast triangle high, His name is on the Apex To witness if I lie, And underneath is written, In letters all of brass, How well brave Alpha held the Bridge, That’s sacred to the ASS. J. M. LOWRY. This parody first appeared in “_The Keys at Home_,” published about four years since by Field and Tuer, at the Leadenhall Press, London. It has since been included in an interesting collection of Poems, entitled “_A Book of Jousts_,” edited by Mr. James M. Lowry, also published by Field and Tuer, of London. HARCOURTIUS OF DERBIÆ.