I gloat on the grins and the groaning, The torments that torture――not kill: And music to me is the moaning Of travellers terribly ill. A rapture I cannot unravel, Their throes set a-thrill in my brain: These――these are _my_ pleasures of travel, Our Lady of Pain! And on landing I lose not the longing, That mingles my manhood with mud: For the merry mosquitos come thronging, With lips that laugh blithely in blood: And fleas, with their kisses that burn me, Bite till cruel red mouths show the stain―― Into poesy passionate turn me, Our Lady of Pain! And the donkeys Egyptian and spiteful Shall share in the shame of my hymns, For the jolting that brands the delightful Dark bruises on delicate limbs. And the Alps shall be ranked with the asses For the fracture, the frostbite, the sprain, And the mangling of flesh in crevasses, Our Lady of Pain! And if――leaving me, though, unshattered―― An accident fell should betide, And the train that I ride in is scattered In ruin on every side―― Dislocations and discolourations, And gush of bright gore, not in vain Shall awake in me languid sensations, Our Lady of Pain! Thus I roam through the universe vasty, O’er mountain, vale, meadow, and wood; And I venerate all that is nasty, And gird against all that is good; In the mire my delight is to linger, Although I to the heights might attain: But you don’t catch me scratching my finger, Our Lady of Pain! _Fun._ October 12, 1867. ―――― MY LADY CHAMPAGNE. Wayward, soft, luscious, and tender, Lightsome, and spotless from stain, Graceful of figure and slender, Decked with a golden crown’s splendour―― Our Lady Champagne. Brilliantly sparkling and creaming, Haughty and lovely and vain, Gay ’midst the froth lightly beaming, Swift o’er the crystal edge streaming―― Our Lady Champagne. Bubbling and seething and springing, Solace and soother of pain, Joys of an outer world bringing, Sweets to the air gaily flinging―― Our Lady Champagne. Proud in the depth of deep scorning, Haughty and grand with disdain, Rosy as soft clouds at dawning, Fresh as the breeze of the morning―― Our Lady Champagne. Kisses seductive in greeting, Falling like soft summer rain, Rapturous bliss of lips meeting, Sighing a woe at retreating―― Our Lady Champagne. Frothy, light, bubbly and beady, Life to the overworked brain; Beer for the humble and needy, Wine for the wealthy and greedy―― Our Lady Champagne! _Judy._ May 26, 1880. ―――― THE SOUTHERN CROSS. _A Frustration._