Her chloral bottle she took in her hand, (_O, for a brandy and soda she sighed_), “To sleep till the evening will be grand;” And she slept through the strains of a German band, Which was playing in all its pride. “Why didn’t she go for a stroll?” you say, But, reader, I beg you pause; Her friends on a visit were all away, And her laundress forgot to send home that day Her petticoats, stockings, and pockethandkerchiefs. _The Sporting Times._ June 20, 1885. The same paper, for May 23, 1885, contained another very funny parody of Rossetti; but unfortunately it was too suggestive to bear republication here. It was reserved, however, for that prince of Parodists, Charles S. Calverley, to make the ballad with a refrain supremely ridiculous:―― The auld wife sat at her ivied door, (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese_) A thing she had frequently done before; And her spectacles lay on her apron’d knees. The piper he piped on the hill-top high, (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese_) Till the cow said “I die,” and the goose ask’d “Why?” And the dog said nothing, but search’d for fleas. The farmer he strode through the square farm-yard; (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese_) His last brew of ale was a trifle hard―― The connexion of which with the plot one sees. The farmer’s daughter hath frank blue eyes; (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese_) She hears the rooks caw in the windy skies, As she sits at her lattice and shells her peas. The farmer’s daughter hath ripe red lips; (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese_) If you try to approach her, away she skips Over tables and chairs with apparent ease. The farmer’s daughter hath soft brown hair; (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese_) And I met with a ballad, I can’t say where, Which wholly consisted of lines like these. In the second part of this pathetic composition the poet thus describes the melancholy sequel:―― She sat with her hands ’neath her burning cheeks, (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese_) And gazed at the piper for thirteen weeks; Then she follow’d him out o’er the misty leas. Her sheep follow’d her, as their tails did them, (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese_) And this song is consider’d a perfect gem, And as to the meaning, it’s what you please. When Mr. Calverley composed this burlesque Ballad (which is to be found in full in his _Fly Leaves_, published by G. Bell & Sons), it is probable that he was thinking of one by Mr. Morris, entitled “Two Red Roses across the Moon” commencing “There was a lady liv’d in a hall,” and ending with the refrain which forms the title. Having once shown how it could be done, other comic writers followed suit, and the burlesque ballads in this style are almost too numerous to be quoted. YOU, I, AND THE POST.