YOU,――_the British Public_; _I_,――_W. E. G._ _The Post_――_G. P. O._ A statesman sits at Hawarden gate, (_Paper and pens and a bottle of ink_.) A stalwart man with a shapely pate, And brains to spare, as you rightly think. The live-long day he’s been hacking down trees, (_Paper and pens and two bottles of ink_.) Toughish work, yet he does it with ease, Nor e’en doth, as Milton would phrase it, “swink.” Who is’t approacheth? ha! ha! The post! (_Paper and pens and a pint of ink._) Of letters and post-cards bearing a host―― Beneath the load he seems ready to sink. The Statesman opens and reads them all, (_Paper and pens and a quart of ink_.) Quoth he, “I’ll answer them great and small, This very night ere I sleep a wink.” In he strides to his big bureau, (_Paper and pens and a gallon of ink_.) And answers fourscore letters or so―― (Fourscore’s the minimum number, I think); Some answered by note, and some by card, (_Paper and pens and a barrel of ink_.) But when the question’s uncommonly hard, The point of the query he’ll deftly shrink. Oh, the postman puffs, and the postman swears, (_Paper and pens and a sheet of stamps_.) At the load of letters and cards he bears To Hawarden gate in his daily tramps. Oh, you who of letters and answers are fond, (_Paper and pens and a grey goose quill_.) Write to Hawarden, there beyond―― And an answer you’ll get from the People’s Will! HUBERT JOHN DE BURGH. (This talented young author died in 1877, at the early age of thirty-two. The above parody originally appeared in _Yorick_, to accompany a cartoon by Harry Furniss.) ―――― As recently as October 20, 1888, _Punch_ had a similar parody entitled AGRICULTURE’S LATEST RÔLE. (_A Bucolic Ballad, with a Borrowed Refrain, Dedicated to the British Dairy Farmers’ Association_,) “Where are you going to, my pretty Maid?” (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese!_) “I’m going a-milking, Sir;” she said; (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese!_) “For times are bad, and the farm don’t pay. ’Tis Pasture _v._ Arable so men say. If still I’d be prosperous _this_ is the way. (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese!_) “I’m tired of corn-growing that brings little cash, (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese!_) The old business of Ceres seems going to smash. (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese!_) Free Trade and the Yankee have finished her clean. From furrow and sheaf there seems little to glean, From ploughed land to pasture I’m changing the scene. (_Butter and eggs and a pound of cheese!_)