“Poor Ireland’s enslavèd!” say the bells of St. David; “God help the poor creaturs!” say the bells of St. Peter’s; “Turned out of their dwellin’s,” say the bells of St. Helen’s; “And speed Home Rule on!” say the bells of St. John; “O, Tories, you rile us!” say the bells of St. Silas; “Confound your vagaries,” say the bells of St. Mary’s; “You’re always ridiculous,” say the bells of St. Nicholas; “And traitors besides!” say the bells of St. Bride’s; “You’ve earned our abhorrence,” say the bells of St. Lawrence; “You’re fit for the gallows,” say the bells of All Hallows; “So get away from us,” say the bells of St. Thomas; “We want better men!” roars out old Big Ben; “You’ve had all your flukes,” say the bells of St. Luke’s; “Suspensions and brawls,” say the bells of St. Paul’s; “The session concludes,” say the bells of St. Jude’s; “Out you must go!” says the great bell at Bow. ROBERT PUTTICK. _The Weekly Dispatch._ October 2, 1887. THE CHIMES. 1886. (_For Bad Times._) “The Turks haven’t a shilling!” Said the gate bell of Billing. “And then Russia wants all!” Said a bell near Millwall. “And poor France has no power!” Said the bell of the Tower. “And that Egypt’s a sweep!” Cried the bell of Eastcheap. “And there’s Spain――a great sell!” Said St. Lawrence’s bell. “Oh, we’ve had a nice ride!” Said the bell of St. Bride. “And are ground in a mill!” Moaned a bell near Cornhill. “We must wait for high tide!” Mourned the bell of Cheapside. “It’s a regular hitch!” Clanged the bell of Shoreditch. “Shall we really lose all?” Asked the bell of St. Paul. “We should much like to know!” Tolled the big bell of Bow. ――――:o:―――― WHO SHOULD EDUCATE THE PRINCE OF WALES? “This is a serious question; and though we have looked through the advertisements of Morning Governesses every day for the last week, we are compelled to admit we have seen nothing that seems likely to suit――at least, at present. It is no doubt a very serious consideration, how the young ideas of the Prince of Wales should be taught to shoot so as to hit the mark; and it is, unfortunately, not so easy to train up a royal child, though the railroad pace at which education travels renders it necessary that he should be put into a first-class train as soon as possible. Awfully impressed with the deep importance of the question, we have made an humble endeavour to answer it, and if the hints are of any service to the nation, our object will be fulfilled, and our ambition will be gratified.” Who’ll teach the Prince? I, answered Punch, With my cap and hunch; And I’ll teach the Prince. Who’ll write his books? I, answered Brougham, With my goose-quill plume; And I’ll write his books. Who’ll make him dance? I, answered Peel, For I can turn and wheel; I’ll make him dance.