Who’ll teach him logic? Says Hume, I’ve the right, I can vote black is white; So I’ll teach him logic. Who’ll teach him dancing? I, lisp’d Baron Nathan, ’Mongtht tea-cupth, jughth, and bathin: I’ll teach him dancing. Who’ll teach him writing? I, said Lord William, Because a copyist with a quill, I am; And I’ll teach him writing. Who’ll teach him politics? Said Graham, that will I, That he every side may try; So I’ll teach him politics. Who’ll pay the piper? I, said John Bull, On me will come the pull: I _must_ pay the piper. _Punch._ September, 1843. This old parody of “Who killed Cock Robin?” was illustrated with a number of funny little portraits. ―――― Who killed these Arabs? “I did,” said Graham; I’d orders to slay em―― I killed these Arabs. Who saw them die? Allah on high, With all-seeing eye―― He saw them die. Who’ll be their mourners? “We,” said the Tribes, “Although we’ve had bribes―― We’ll be their mourners,” Who’ll pay the cost? “I,” said John Bull, “Because I’m a fool―― I’ll pay the cost.” And who’ll wind it up? “The Rads!” cried the Nation; “If but firm in their station, They’ll wind it up!” GEORGE MALLINSON. _The Weekly Dispatch._ April 13, 1884. ―――― WHO KILLED HOME RULE. Who killed Home Rule? I, said Joe Chamberlain; Simply by speaking plain, I killed Home Rule. Who saw it die? I, answered Goschen―― I gave it a potion, Then saw it die. Who made its shroud? I, said Lord Harty; Regardless of party, I made its shroud. Who dug its grave? I, Lord Randy cried, Making it deep and wide, I dug its grave. Who was chief mourner? I, said Parnell; When my hopes fell, I was chief mourner. Who was the parson? I, said Trevelyan; My text was “rebellion,” I was the parson. Who was the clerk? I, said John Morley, And I wept sorely, I was the clerk. Who tolled the bell? I, said John Bull; With a good hearty pull, I tolled the bell. _The People._ July 3, 1886. ―――― THE GRAND OLD COCK ROBIN. Who killed Gladstone? I, said Chamberlain, And I feel like Cain(e) _I_ killed Gladstone. Who saw him die? I, said Goschen, Without any emotion _I_ saw him die. Who caught his blood? I, said Caine, And it’s left a big stain; _I_ caught his blood. Who’ll make his shroud? I, said Argyll, In superior style; _I’ll_ make his shroud. Who’ll carry him to the grave? I, said County Guy, With a tear in his eye; _I’ll_ carry him to the grave. Who’ll dig his grave? I, said Lord Randy, For I’ve got the tools handy; _I’ll_ dig his grave.