_The Spectator._ September 15. 1886. ――――:o:―――― Although this collection is avowedly confined to Parodies which have previously appeared in print, it will be readily understood that numbers of _original_ parodies are sent in, of which but a very small proportion can be inserted. Some amusing incidents occur, thus a short time ago a gentlemen sent from Scotland the M.S.S. of new and original burlesques on _Hamlet_ and _Othello_, the first containing about 850 lines, and the second about double that number. The author earnestly requested they should be inserted in _Parodies_, but whether he had succeeded in getting any “new and original” fun out of such fresh and lively topics as Hamlet and Othello, the world will never be able to judge through this medium. Another, and almost equally humorous request was worded as follows:――“I enclose a parody on Mr. Algernon Swinburne’s _Dolores_ in the form of an encomium on ‘Someone’s Essence of Something’ which is absurdly close to some of the original verses. If you accept it please send proof and _remuneration_ to me at above address.” It so happened that this parody was not devoid of literary merit, but the author was presuming a little too much in expecting to get a puff inserted gratis, and to be paid for it in the bargain. A verse or two will suffice to indicate the author’s treatment of the topic:―― All pale from the past we draw nigh thee, And satiate with rollicking hours; And we know thee how none can deny thee, And we purchase the gift of new pow’rs, The draught that allays and recovers, The boons and the blessings that rain On the livers and lungs of thy lovers, Exorcist of Pain! What care though disease be a fixture Which for ages has baffled all skill, Thou art more than the famous blood mixture, Superior to Cockle’s best pill; Thou canst cast out disordered secretion, Reduce the swelled kidney, revive The victim of constant depletion, And keep him alive! Fruits fail, Autumn dies, and Time ranges, * * * have perpetual breath, The price of its bottles ne’er changes, Two-and-ninepence can wrestle with Death Our lives are rekindled and rallied, Our systems made wholesome and clean, Relieved of Dyspepsia, that pallid, And poisonous Queen! Sick-headache, and sudden affliction, Carbuncles, and feverish skin, Epidemics, severe mental friction, Too much of a favourite bin; For these panacea thou devisest, For these, and for all other bane, O wise among chemists, and wisest, Exorcist of Pain! * * * * * The remainder of this Poem will be inserted with full details as to price, and number of cures effected, on receipt of the customary advertisement fee. Another correspondent kindly sent in a lengthy rhymed criticism of Swinburne’s style, commencing as follows:―― PADDY BLAKE ON SWINBURNE.