Passing of the Third Floor BackJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Passing of the Third Floor Back
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Fiction; Short stories
For Mr. Longcord and his partner, as representatives of the best type
of business men, the stranger had a great respect. With what unfortunate
results to themselves has been noted. The curious thing is that the Firm
appeared content with the price they had paid for the stranger’s good
opinion--had even, it was rumoured, acquired a taste for honest men’s
respect--that in the long run was likely to cost them dear. But we all
have our pet extravagance.
The Colonel and Mrs. Devine both suffered a good deal at first from
the necessity imposed upon them of learning, somewhat late in life, new
tricks. In the privacy of their own apartment they condoled with one
another.
“Tomfool nonsense,” grumbled the Colonel, “you and I starting billing
and cooing at our age!”
“What I object to,” said Mrs. Devine, “is the feeling that somehow I am
being made to do it.”
“The idea that a man and his wife cannot have their little joke together
for fear of what some impertinent jackanapes may think of them! it’s
damn ridiculous,” the Colonel exploded.
“Even when he isn’t there,” said Mrs. Devine, “I seem to see him looking
at me with those vexing eyes of his. Really the man quite haunts me.”
“I have met him somewhere,” mused the Colonel, “I’ll swear I’ve met him
somewhere. I wish to goodness he would go.”
A hundred things a day the Colonel wanted to say to Mrs. Devine, a
hundred things a day Mrs. Devine would have liked to observe to the
Colonel. But by the time the opportunity occurred--when nobody else was
by to hear--all interest in saying them was gone.
“Women will be women,” was the sentiment with which the Colonel consoled
himself. “A man must bear with them--must never forget that he is a
gentleman.”
“Oh, well, I suppose they’re all alike,” laughed Mrs. Devine to herself,
having arrived at that stage of despair when one seeks refuge in
cheerfulness. “What’s the use of putting oneself out--it does no good,
and only upsets one.” There is a certain satisfaction in feeling you
are bearing with heroic resignation the irritating follies of
others. Colonel and Mrs. Devine came to enjoy the luxury of much
self-approbation.
But the person seriously annoyed by the stranger’s bigoted belief in
the innate goodness of everyone he came across was the languid,
handsome Miss Devine. The stranger would have it that Miss Devine was a
noble-souled, high-minded young woman, something midway between a Flora
Macdonald and a Joan of Arc. Miss Devine, on the contrary, knew herself
to be a sleek, luxury-loving animal, quite willing to sell herself to
the bidder who could offer her the finest clothes, the richest foods,
the most sumptuous surroundings. Such a bidder was to hand in the person
of a retired bookmaker, a somewhat greasy old gentleman, but exceedingly
rich and undoubtedly fond of her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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