MRS. S.—Sir, you are vastly obleeging, but where’s the chair? DR. JOHNSON.—Madam, you who have so often occasioned a want of seats to other people, will the more easily excuse the want of one yourself. MR. SHAKESPEARE.—Marry come up! Wouldst not sit in my lap, Sal? ’Tis not so deep as a well nor so wide as a church door, but ’twill serve. MRS. S. (_scandalized but dignified_).—Sir, I am sensible of the honour, but fear my train would incommode the Immortal Bard. MR. SHAKESPEARE.—Oh, Immortal Bard be—— MR. GARRICK (_hastily_).—I perceive, sir, a stir among the company. The gentleman who is taking the chair has notable eyebrows; he must be—— MR. SHAKESPEARE.—Master George Robey. I’ve heard of him and his eyebrows. MR. G.—No, no, ’tis Sir Arthur Pinero, an actor-dramatist like yourself, sir. MR. SHAKESPEARE.—Beshrew me, but I would hear the chimes at midnight with him and drink a health unto his knighthood. (_Sings._) “And let me the canakin clink, clink, and——” THE HOUSE (_indignantly_).—Sh-h-h! MR. SHAKESPEARE.—A murrain on these gallants! They have no ear for a catch and should get them to a monastery. But I’ll sit like my grandsire, carved in alabaster. Who’s the young spark, now speaking? DR. J. (_shocked_).—The young spark, sir, is His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales. MR. SHERIDAN.—Egad! This reminds me of old times, but the young man is not a bit like my friend Prinny. And though _I_ managed Drury Lane, I never got Prinny on _my_ stage. DR. J.—Sir, your Prinny never had so good a cause to be there. He only _thought_ he fought in the wars; but this Prince is a real ex-Service man, pleading for the ex-Service men, his comrades in arms. He has been a soldier, and not a man of us in this box but wishes he could say as much for himself. Every man thinks meanly of himself for not having been a soldier; but he will think less meanly if he can help those who have. That is the very purpose of this numerous assembly. MR. SHAKESPEARE.—Oh, most learned doctor, a Daniel come to judgment! I’ faith I am most heartily of thy mind, and would drink a loving toast to the young Prince and another to the ex-Service fellows, and eke a third to this—how runs it?—this numerous assembly. (_Sings._) “And let me the canakin clink, clink, and——” THE HOUSE (_in a frenzy of indignation_).—Sh-h-h! Turn him out! (_Hisses._) MR. SHAKESPEARE.—What! the “bird”! Well-a-day, this isn’t the first time they’ve hissed my Ghost. MR. KEAN.—Sir, they’ve hissed _me_! MR. SHAKESPEARE.—Ha! say’st thou, honest Ned! But thou wast a jackanapes to let thyself be caught with the Alderman’s wife and—— Mrs. S. (_icily_).—Mr. Shakespeare, there are ladies present. MR. SHERIDAN (_whispering to Dr. J._).—But what does little Davy here, doctor? He has always been represented as very saving. DR. J.—No, sir. Davy is a liberal man. He has given away more money than any man in England. There may be a little vanity mixed, but he has shown that money is not his first object.