Boardinghouses -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Love stories; Single women -- Fiction
The lack of sympathy between aunt and niece had driven Patricia more
and more to seek her father's companionship. He was a silent man,
little given to emotion or demonstration of affection. He loved
Patricia, but lacked the faculty of conveying to her the knowledge of
his love.
As she walked across the Park Patricia came to the conclusion that, for
some reason or other, love, or the outward visible signs of love, had
been denied her. Warm-hearted, impetuous, spontaneous, she had been
chilled by the self-repression of her father, and the lack of affection
of her aunt. She had been schooled to regard God as the God of
punishment rather than the God of love. One of her most terrifying
recollections was that of the Sundays spent under the paternal roof.
To her father, religion counted for nothing; but to her aunt it counted
for everything in the world; the hereafter was to be the compensation
for renunciation in this world. Miss Brent's attitude towards prayer
was that of one who regards it as a means by which she is able to
convey to the Almighty what she expects of Him in the next world as a
reward for what she has done, or rather not done, in this.
Patricia had once asked, in a childish moment of speculation, "But,
Aunt Adelaide, suppose God doesn't make us happy in the next world,
what shall we do then?"
"Oh! yes He will," was her aunt's reply, uttered with such grimness
that Patricia, though only six years of age, had been satisfied that
not even God would dare to disappoint Aunt Adelaide.
Patricia had been a lonely child. She had come to distrust spontaneity
and, in consequence, became shy and self-conscious, with the inevitable
result that other children, the few who were in Aunt Adelaide's opinion
fit for her to associate with, made it obvious that she was one by
herself. Patricia had fallen back on her father's library, where she
had read many books that would have caused her aunt agonies of stormy
anguish, had she known.
Patricia early learnt the necessity for dissimulation. She always
carefully selected two books, one that she could ostensibly be reading
if her aunt happened to come into the library, and the other that she
herself wanted to read, and of which she knew her aunt would strongly
disapprove.
Miss Brent regarded boarding-schools as "hotbeds of vice," and in
consequence Patricia was educated at home, educated in a way that she
would never have been at any school; for Miss Brent was thorough in
everything she undertook. The one thing for which Patricia had to be
grateful to her aunt was her general knowledge, and the sane methods
adopted with her education. But for this she would not have been in
the position to accept a secretaryship to a politician.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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