Overcome by emotion, Paul Bunyan turned and stared unseeingly at
the lands which had once been Pine Orchard. Visions of tremendous
accomplishments swept before him; he now had the perfect organization
he had always dreamed about, and there could be no good reason for
another failure. But he had a new responsibility also; he was now more
deeply in debt to this man than ever. For, even as his fists and feet
had won him the faith and loyalty of the Big Swede, so had his mind and
heart, as revealed in his history, won the extravagant devotion of the
greatest figurer. Only mighty works would keep it. Well, he should not
fail. Resolutely he faced the unfortunate surveyor, the restorer of
ruined accounts, the man who should win fame with him as the greatest
figurer of all time.
“Timekeeper Johnny Inkslinger,” he said, “shake hands.”
THE SOURDOUGH DRIVE
Political campaigns remind old loggers of the violent debate that once
raged between Paul Bunyan, the originator of the lumber industry, and
his timekeeper, Johnny Inkslinger. This debate was strictly about
business, however, for there was no politics in those days. It was
poor policy, argued the timekeeper, to increase the varieties and
quantities of edibles grown on Paul Bunyan’s great farm simply to make
more stuffing for the loggers. He recommended that the camp rations be
cut down and that ships be built, in which surplus farm produce could
be shipped to European markets. Johnny Inkslinger was the original
efficiency expert and he had hordes of figures at hand to support
his arguments. Paul Bunyan listened with his usual calm and dignity,
brushing his beard with a fresh pine tree and nodding gravely, until
the timekeeper began to insist that the loggers could do their work
well enough on pea soup and sourdough biscuits; then the great man
erupted.
“Good glory, Johnny!” he exclaimed. “Have you forgotten the Sourdough
Drive?”
“I have not, Mr. Bunyan,” Inkslinger retorted spiritedly. “But I have
figures which show you should have handled it differently.”
“The hell you have!” roared Paul Bunyan, in rare tones of anger. “Damn
figures and figuring men!”
“And damn a man who damns figures!” thundered Johnny Inkslinger,
himself getting angry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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