Paul Clifford — Volume 03Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
Paul Clifford — Volume 03
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
Brigands and robbers -- Fiction
Meanwhile the servant had been shivering in front, boxed up in that
solitary convenience termed, not euphoniously, a dickey. Him the robber
now briefly accosted.
"What have you got about you belonging to your master?" "Only his pills,
your honour! which I forgot to put in the--"
"Pills!--throw them down to me!" The valet tremblingly extricated from
his side-pocket a little box, which he threw down and Lovett caught in
his hand.
He opened the box, counted the pills,--"One, two, four, twelve,--aha!"
He reopened the carriage door. "Are these your pills, my lord?"
The wondering peer, who had begun to resettle himself in the corner of
his carriage, answered that they were.
"My lord, I see you are in a high state of fever; you were a little
delirious just now when you snapped a pistol in your friend's face.
Permit me to recommend you a prescription,--swallow off all these pills!"
"My God!" cried the traveller, startled into earnestness; "what do you
mean?--twelve of those pills would kill a man!"
"Hear him!" said the robber, appealing to his comrades, who roared with
laughter. "What, my lord, would you rebel against your doctor? Fie,
fie! be persuaded."
And with a soothing gesture he stretched the pill-box towards the
recoiling nose of the traveller. But though a man who could as well as
any one make the best of a bad condition, the traveller was especially
careful of his health; and so obstinate was he where that was concerned,
that he would rather have submitted to the effectual operation of a
bullet than incurred the chance operation of an extra pill. He
therefore, with great indignation, as the box was still extended towards
him, snatched it from the hand of the robber, and flinging it across the
road, said with dignity,--
"Do your worst, rascals! But if you leave me alive, you shall repent the
outrage you have offered to one of his Majesty's household!" Then, as if
becoming sensible of the ridicule of affecting too much in his present
situation, he added in an altered tone: "And now, for Heaven's sake, shut
the door; and if you must kill somebody, there's my servant on the box,--
he's paid for it."
This speech made the robbers laugh more than ever; and Lovett, who liked
a joke even better than a purse, immediately closed the carriage door,
saying,--
"Adieu, my lord; and let me give you a piece of advice: whenever you get
out at a country inn, and stay half an hour while your horses are
changing, take your pistols with you, or you may chance to have the
charge drawn."
With this admonition the robber withdrew; and seeing that the valet held
out to him a long green purse, he said, gently shaking his head,--
"Rogues should not prey on each other, my good fellow. You rob your
master; so do we. Let each keep what he has got."
Long Ned and Tomlinson then backing their horses, the carriage was freed;
and away started the post-boys at a pace which seemed to show less regard
for life than the robbers themselves had evinced.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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