We lived on still in the old house though ever planning to move, for
the great brick monster had crept closer round about us year by year,
devouring in his progress all things fair. Field and garden, tree and
cottage, time-mellowed house suggesting story, kind hedgerow hiding
hideousness beyond--the few spots yet in that doomed land lingering to
remind one of the sunshine, one by one had he scrunched them between his
ugly teeth. A world apart, this east end of London, this ghetto of the
poor for ever growing, dreariness added year by year to dreariness,
hopelessness stretching ever farther its long, shrivelled arms, these
endless rows of reeking cells where London herds her slaves. Often of a
misty afternoon when we knew that without this city of the dead life was
stirring in the sunshine, we would fare forth to house-hunt in
pleasant suburbs, now themselves added to the weary catacomb of narrow
streets--to Highgate, then a tiny town connected by a coach with leafy
Holloway; to Hampstead with its rows of ancient red-brick houses, from
whose wind-blown heath one saw beyond the woods and farms, far London's
domes and spires, to Wood Green among the pastures, where smock-coated
labourers discussed their politics and ale beneath wide-spreading elms;
to Hornsey, then a village consisting of an ivy-covered church and one
grass-bordered way. But though we often saw “the very thing for us” and
would discuss its possibilities from every point of view and find them
good, we yet delayed.
“We must think it over,” would say my mother; “there is no hurry; for
some reasons I shall be sorry to leave Poplar.”
“For what reasons, mother?”
“Oh, well, no particular reason, Paul. Only we have lived there so long,
you know. It will be a wrench leaving the old house.”
To the making of man go all things, even to the instincts of the
clinging vine. We fling our tendrils round what is the nearest
castle-keep or pig-stye wall, rain and sunshine fastening them but
firmer. Dying Sir Walter Scott--do you remember?--hastening home from
Italy, fearful lest he might not be in time to breathe again the damp
mists of the barren hills. An ancient dame I knew, they had carried her
from her attic in slumland that she might be fanned by the sea breezes,
and the poor old soul lay pining for what she called her “home.” Wife,
mother, widow, she had lived there till the alley's reek smelt good
to her nostrils, till its riot was the voices of her people. Who shall
understand us save He who fashioned us?
So the old house held us to its dismal bosom; and not until within its
homely but unlovely arms, first my aunt, and later on my mother had
died, and I had said good-bye to Amy, crying in the midst of littered
emptiness, did I leave it.
My aunt died as she had lived, grumbling.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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