“Oh, nurse and I were discussing things, you know,” I answered, “and she
said you could have done without me.” Somehow, I did not mind repeating
the words now; clearly it could have been but Mrs. Fursey's fun.
My mother drew me closer to her.
“And what made her think that?”
“Well, you see,” I replied, “I came at a very awkward time, didn't I;
when you had a lot of other troubles.”
My mother laughed, but the next moment looked grave again.
“I did not know you thought about such things,” she said; “we must be
more together, you and I, Paul, and you shall tell me all you think,
because nurse does not quite understand you. It is true what she said
about the trouble; it came just at that time. But I could not have done
without you. I was very unhappy, and you were sent to comfort me and
help me to bear it.” I liked this explanation better.
“Then it was lucky, your having me?” I said. Again my mother laughed,
and again there followed that graver look upon her childish face.
“Will you remember what I am going to say?” She spoke so earnestly that
I, wriggling into a sitting posture, became earnest also.
“I'll try,” I answered; “but I ain't got a very good memory, have I?”
“Not very,” smiled my mother; “but if you think about it a good deal it
will not leave you. When you are a good boy, and later on, when you are
a good man, then I am the luckiest little mother in all the world. And
every time you fail, that means bad luck for me. You will remember that
after I'm gone, when you are a big man, won't you, Paul?”
So, both of us quite serious, I promised; and though I smile now when
I remember, seeing before me those two earnest, childish faces, yet I
think, however little success it may be I have to boast of, it would
perhaps have been still less had I entirely forgotten.
From that day my mother waxes in my memory; Mrs. Fursey, of the many
promontories, waning. There were sunny mornings in the neglected garden,
where the leaves played round us while we worked and read; twilight
evenings in the window seat where, half hidden by the dark red curtains,
we would talk in whispers, why I know not, of good men and noble women,
ogres, fairies, saints and demons; they were pleasant days.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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