“It isn't what I call a grand opera voice,” he commented, “but it ought
to do all right for a chorus where economy is the chief point to be
considered. Now, I'll tell you what to do. You go to-morrow straight to
the O'Kelly, and put the whole thing before 'im. 'E's a good sort; 'e'll
touch you up a bit, and maybe give you a few introductions. Lucky for
you, this is just the right time. There's one or two things comin'
on, and if Fate ain't dead against you, you'll lose your amorita, or
whatever it's called, and not find 'er again till it's too late.”
I was not in the mood that evening to feel hopeful about anything; but I
thanked both of them for their kind intentions and promised to think
the suggestion over on the morrow, when, as it was generally agreed, I
should be in a more fitting state to bring cool judgment to bear upon
the subject; and they rose to take their departure.
Leaving Minikin to descend alone, Jarman returned the next minute.
“Consols are down a bit this week,” he whispered, with the door in his
hand. “If you want a little of the ready to carry you through, don't
go sellin' out. I can manage a few pounds. Suck a couple of lemons and
you'll be all right in the morning. So long.”
I followed his advice regarding the lemons, and finding it correct, went
to the office next morning as usual. Lott & Co., in consideration of my
agreeing to a deduction of two shillings on the week's salary, allowed
himself to overlook the matter. I had intended acting on Jarman's
advice, to call upon the O'Kelly at his address of respectability in
Hampstead that evening, and had posted him a note saying I was coming.
Before leaving the office, however, I received a reply to the effect
that he would be out that evening, and asking me to make it the
following Friday instead. Disappointed, I returned to my lodgings in a
depressed state of mind. Jarman 's scheme, which had appeared hopeful
and even attractive during the daytime, now loomed shadowy and
impossible before me. The emptiness of the first floor parlour as
I passed its open door struck a chill upon me, reminding me of the
disappearance of a friend to whom, in spite of moral disapproval, I had
during these last few months become attached. Unable to work, the old
pain of loneliness returned upon me. I sat for awhile in the darkness,
listening to the scratching of the pen of my neighbour, the old
law-writer, and the sense of despair that its sound always communicated
to me encompassed me about this evening with heavier weight than usual.
After all, was not the sympathy of the Lady 'Ortensia, stimulated for
personal purposes though it might be, better than nothing? At least,
here was some living creature to whom I belonged, to whom my existence
or nonexistence was of interest, who, if only for her own sake, was
bound to share my hopes, my fears.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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