It was in this mood that I heard a slight tap at the door. In the dim
passage stood the small slavey, holding out a note. I took it, and
returning, lighted my candle. The envelope was pink and scented. It was
addressed, in handwriting not so bad as I had expected, to “Paul Kelver,
Esquire.” I opened it and read:
“Dr mr. Paul--I herd as how you was took hill hafter the party. I feer
you are not strong. You must not work so hard or you will be hill and
then I shall be very cros with you. I hop you are well now. If so I am
going for a wark and you may come with me if you are good. With much
love. From your affechonat ROSIE.”
In spite of the spelling, a curious, tingling sensation stole over me
as I read this my first love-letter. A faint mist swam before my eyes.
Through it, glorified and softened, I saw the face of my betrothed,
pasty yet alluring, her large white fleshy arms stretched out invitingly
toward me. Moved by a sudden hot haste that seized me, I dressed myself
with trembling hands; I appeared to be anxious to act without giving
myself time for thought. Complete, with a colour in my cheeks unusual to
them, and a burning in my eyes, I descended and knocked with a nervous
hand at the door of the second floor back.
“Who's that?” came in answer Miss Sellars' sharp tones.
“It is I--Paul.”
“Oh, wait a minute, dear.” The tone was sweeter. There followed the
sound of scurried footsteps, a rustling of clothes, a banging of
drawers, a few moments' dead silence, and then:
“You can come in now, dear.”
I entered. It was a small, untidy room, smelling of smoky lamp; but all
I saw distinctly at the moment was Miss Sellars with her arms above her
head, pinning her hat upon her straw-coloured hair.
With the sight of her before me in the flesh, my feelings underwent a
sudden revulsion. During the few minutes she had kept me waiting outside
the door I had suffered from an almost uncontrollable desire to turn the
handle and rush in. Now, had I acted on impulse, I should have run out.
Not that she was an unpleasant-looking girl by any means; it was the
atmosphere of coarseness, of commonness, around her that repelled me.
The fastidiousness--finikinness; if you will--that would so often spoil
my rare chop, put before me by a waitress with dirty finger-nails,
forced me to disregard the ample charms she no doubt did possess, to
fasten my eyes exclusively upon her red, rough hands and the one or two
warts that grew thereon.
“You're a very naughty boy,” told me Miss Sellars, finishing the
fastening of her hat. “Why didn't you come in and see me in the
dinner-_h_our? I've a great mind not to kiss you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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