Lady Peedles, our guests decided among themselves, must be the widow of
some one in the City who had been knighted in a crowd. They made fun of
her behind her back, but to her face were most effusive. “My dear Lady
Peedles” was the phrase most often heard in our rooms whenever she was
present. At the theatre “my friend Lady Peedles” became a person much
spoken of--generally in loud tones. My own social position I found
decidedly improved by reason of her ladyship's evident liking for
myself. It went abroad that I was her presumptive heir. I was courted as
a gentleman of expectations.
The fishy-eyed young man became one of our regular guests. Dan won his
heart by never laughing at him.
“I like talking to you,” said the fishy-eyed young man one afternoon to
Dan. “You don't go into fits of laughter when I remark that it has been
a fine day; most people do. Of course, on the stage I don't mind. I
know I am a funny little devil. I get my living by being a funny little
devil. There is a photograph of me hanging in the theatre lobby. I saw
a workman stop and look at it the other day as he passed; I was just
behind him. He burst into a roar of laughter. 'Little--! He makes me
laugh to look at him!' he cluttered to himself. Well, that's all right;
I want the man in the gallery to think me funny, but it annoys me when
people laugh at me off the stage. If I am out to dinner anywhere and ask
somebody to pass the mustard, I never get it; instead, they burst out
laughing. I don't want people to laugh at me when I am having my dinner.
I want my dinner. It makes me very angry sometimes.”
“I know,” agreed Dan, sympathetically. “The world never grasps the fact
that man is a collection, not a single exhibit. I remember being at a
house once where the chief guest happened to be a great Hebrew scholar.
One tea time, a Miss Henman, passing the butter to some one in a hurry,
let it slip out of her hand. 'Why is Miss Henman like a caterpillar?'
asked our learned guest in a sepulchral voice. Nobody appeared to know.
'Because she makes the butter fly.' It never occurred to any one of us
that the Doctor could possibly joke. There was dead silence for about
a minute. Then our hostess, looking grave, remarked: 'Oh, do you really
think so?'”
“If I were to enter a room full of people,” said the fishy-eyed young
man, “and tell them that my mother had been run over by an omnibus, they
would think it the funniest story they had heard in years.”
He was playing a principal part now in the opera, and it was he
undoubtedly who was drawing the house. But he was not happy.
“I am not a comic actor, really,” he explained. “I could play Romeo, so
far as feeling is concerned, and play it damned well. There is a fine
vein of poetry in me. But of course it's no good to me with this face of
mine.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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