And knowledge of yet greater value do I owe to the good fortune that
his sound mother wit was ever at my disposal to correct my dreamy
unfeasibility; for from first to last he was my friend; and to have
been the chosen friend of Dan, shrewd judge of man and boy, I deem no
unimportant feather in my cap. He “took to” me, he said, because I was
so “jolly green”--“such a rummy little mug.” No other reason would he
ever give me, save only a sweet smile and a tumbling of my hair with his
great hand; but I think I understood. And I loved him because he was
big and strong and handsome and kind; no one but a little boy knows
how brutal or how kind a big boy can be. I was still somewhat of an
effeminate little chap, nervous and shy, with a pink and white face, and
hair that no amount of wetting would make straight. I was growing too
fast, which took what strength I had, and my journey every day, added
to school work and home work, maybe was too much for my years. Every
morning I had to be up at six, leaving the house before seven to catch
the seven fifteen from Poplar station; and from Chalk Farm I had to walk
yet another couple of miles. But that I did not mind, for at Chalk Farm
station Dan was always waiting for me. In the afternoon we walked back
together also; and when I was tired and my back ached--just as if some
one had cut a piece out of it, I felt--he would put his arm round
me, for he always knew, and oh, how strong and restful it was to lean
against, so that one walked as in an easy-chair.
It seems to me, remembering how I would walk thus by his side, looking
up shyly into his face, thinking how strong and good he was, feeling so
glad he liked me, I can understand a little how a woman loves. He was so
solid. With his arm round me, it was good to feel weak.
At first we were in the same class, the Lower Third. He had no business
there. He was head and shoulders taller than any of us and years older.
It was a disgrace to him that he was not in the Upper Fourth. The Doctor
would tell him so before us all twenty times a week. Old Waterhouse
(I call him “Old Waterhouse” because “Mister Waterhouse, M.A.,”
would convey no meaning to me, and I should not know about whom I
was speaking) who cordially liked him, was honestly grieved. We, his
friends, though it was pleasant to have him among us, suffered in our
pride of him. The only person quite contented was Dan himself. It was
his way in all things. Others had their opinion of what was good
for him. He had his own, and his own was the only opinion that ever
influenced him. The Lower Third suited him. For him personally the Upper
Fourth had no attraction.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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