“Let Gilbert woo me--have patience till you understand my meaning; he
still loves me and believes I still return that love. I shall not
undeceive him yet, but let silence seem to confess what I do not own in
words. He fed me with false promises, let me build my life's happiness
on baseless hopes, and rudely woke me when he could delude no longer,
leaving me to find I had pursued a shadow. I will do the same. He shall
follow me undaunted, undeterred by all obstacles, all ties; shall stake
his last throw and lose it, for when the crowning moment comes I shall
show him that through me he is made bankrupt in love, honor, liberty,
and hope, tell him I am yours entirely and forever, then vanish like an
ignis-fatuus, leaving him to the darkness of despair and defeat. Is not
this a better retribution than the bullet that would give him peace at
once?”
Boy, lover, husband though he was, Manuel saw and stood aghast at the
baleful spirit which had enslaved this woman, crushing all generous
impulses, withering all gentle charities, and making her the saddest
spectacle this world can show--one human soul rebelling against
Providence, to become the nemesis of another. Involuntarily he recoiled
from her, exclaiming, “Pauline! Are you possessed of a devil?”
“Yes! One that will not be cast out till every sin, shame, and sorrow
mental ingenuity can conceive and inflict has been heaped on that man's
head. I thought I should be satisfied with one accusing look, one bitter
word; I am not, for the evil genii once let loose cannot be recaptured.
Once I ruled it, now it rules me, and there is no turning back. I have
come under the law of fate, and henceforth the powers I possess will
ban, not bless, for I am driven to whet and wield them as weapons which
may win me success at the price of my salvation. It is not yet too late
for you to shun the spiritual contagion I bear about me. Choose now, and
abide by that choice without a shadow of turning, as I abide by mine.
Take me as I am; help me willingly and unwillingly; and in the end
receive the promised gift--years like the days you have called heaven
upon earth. Or retract the vows you plighted, receive again the heart
and name you gave me, and live unvexed by the stormy nature time alone
can tame. Here is the ring. Shall I restore or keep it, Manuel?”
Never had she looked more beautiful as she stood there, an image of
will, daring, defiant, and indomitable, with eyes darkened by intensity
of emotion, voice half sad, half stern, and outstretched hand on which
the wedding ring no longer shone. She felt her power, yet was wary
enough to assure it by one bold appeal to the strongest element of her
husband's character: passions, not principles, were the allies she
desired, and before the answer came she knew that she had gained them at
the cost of innocence and self-respect.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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