Atonement -- Fiction; Clergy -- England -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
That seemed to be the burden of his thoughts for many days; in reality
the time was forty-eight hours. And whenever the determination rose
afresh in his heart, and the dry lips moved with its expression, the
whole man would rouse himself to an effort beside which the building of
the church was pastime. He would sit up and put on more coals with a
hand black from the constant operation. Then he would lean as close as
possible to the singing kettle, and inhale the steam until the gaunt arm
supporting his weight could do so no more. Even then he would make a
still longer arm before lying down, and replenish the kettle from one of
the pails, using the breakfast-cup for a dipper. So the kettle would
cease singing for a time, and, each occasion entirely exhausting the
spent man, the chances were that he would fall into a sleep that was
half a swoon. But he never slept very long. He would dream that the fire
was black, and start up to mend it--often before the kettle had
recovered its voice. So far from the fire going out, for sixty hours it
never went down. Carlton would mend it almost in his sleep. Even on the
third day, when a kind delirium destroyed sensation for some hours, he
never forgot his fire; the lean black hand would still feel its way to
the bath beneath the bed, and there grope weakly for the smaller coals.
All lucid thought and all delirious whispers were gradually monopolised
by the fire. It became the sick man's life. He would not let it out
while he lived. And live he would. When the fire died out, then so would
he. But he was not going to die this time.
"Their latest dodge to get rid of me, is it? Trust to Général
Février--no, March! Never mind; he shan't lay his bony finger on me
. . . You'll burn 'em if you try! . . . I tell you the law's on my
side."
Delirium grew from the exception into the rule. The kettle sang no
longer; the bottom was out and the whole thing red-hot; for the fire had
never been so good. The fender was inches deep in ashes. With or without
his reason Carlton knew enough to thrust the poker through and through
the lower glow. It was a clear fire all the time.
And the heat of it at such a range! It singed the sheets; it flayed the
face; but it also helped incalculably to keep this stricken body and
this strenuous soul together.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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