Atonement -- Fiction; Clergy -- England -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
This stupendous speech was too much for even Mr. Carlton's self-control.
Its snivelling tone, its evident conviction (confirmed by a gargoyle's
grin of infinite self-esteem), were aggravated by the complete surprise
of this spiritual revelation; and between them they awoke a dormant
nerve. Robert Carlton did not exhibit that annoyance which he had
determined to conceal; he did much worse. He burst out laughing in the
sexton's face. And his laughter was long, loud, high-pitched and
hysterical, alike from weakness and from long disuse.
The sexton on his legs, in a perfect palsy of horror and offence, alone
put a stop to it.
"I beg your pardon," gasped Carlton, his eyes full of tears; "oh, I
beg----"
And again that hysterical, high-pitched laughter got the better of him,
ringing weirdly enough through the empty house.
"Ah!" said the dotard, when it had stopped at last; and the monosyllable
contented him for some moments. "Well," he at length continued, with a
brisker manner and a brighter face; "well, thank God I pulled you
through; thank God I didn't let you die in your sins and go to
everlasting hell without another chance of immortal life. You wicked
man! You wicked man! I'll go and I'll pray for you; but I'll never come
near you no more."
So the solitary regained his solitude; when he spoke again, it was to
himself.
"Well, he has his money," he reflected aloud: he had paid the sexton
some seven pounds in all. "And my gratitude!" he cried later. "I must
never forget that I owe my life to that egregious old man."
Yet the greater gratitude was beginning to stir within him, as the sap
was even then stirring in the trees. It was a mild, bright day, one of
the last in March. The invalid had not yet been out; he would go out
now. In an instant he was wrapping up.
Oh, but it was wonderful! the feel and noise of the moist gravel under
the soles of his boots; the green, damp grass; the watery sun; the
beloved birds; the mild, beneficent air.
His steps took the old direction of their own accord. In a minute he was
there, at the church, and seated on the very wall which he had been
building a fortnight before, surveying his work.
Had some one been carrying it on in his absence? Or was it only that one
noticed no difference from day to day, but all the difference in the
world after an unaccustomed absence? Yes, this was it; and he drew the
deep breath which his first idea had checked.
Still it was wonderful: one wall seemed so much higher, another so much
cleaner than before; and yet there was no stone either laid or scraped
which Carlton did not recognize at a glance, with sudden memories of
special travail; and the string was still where he had stretched it to
keep the line. He had under-estimated his progress at the time; that was
all; but again it was as though the sap was rising in his heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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