Atonement -- Fiction; Clergy -- England -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
Yes, it was a shadow; but no new one; it only fell heavier and stretched
further than before. And gradually Carlton became obsessed with the idea
that he must do something, take some step, give some earnest of
voluntary responsibility, no matter what new humiliation awaited him.
But what to do, what step to take, for the best! As life grew a very
little easier in other ways that have been shown, this problem came upon
Carlton as a fresh complication, and as a poignant reminder of his
original wickedness. It was not, however, a problem to be solved out of
hand. It required infinite thought, and ceaseless prayer for that right
judgment for which Robert Carlton now again looked upward as well as
within. But while he thought, and even while he prayed, the walls were
still growing under his hands.
And in his work he was strangely and serenely happy; there were no more
spasmodic joys and qualms. Enormous difficulties lay between him and the
impossible roof. He was at once artist and man enough to be stimulated
by these. He drew in chalk, upon the bare floors of his disused rooms,
full-size diagrams of all his arches, divided into as many parts as
there were to be stones, according to the easy rule set forth in his
precious book. Then he collected all the boxes, tin, wood, and
cardboard, that he could find upon the premises, and cut these up into
numbered patterns coinciding exactly with the diagrams on the floor,
thus providing himself with evening occupation for a whole winter, and
having all in readiness by the spring. Summer, however, found him still
in travail with the mullioned window in the north transept; and the
mullion and the tracery he was omitting altogether; the bare arch beat
him long enough.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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