Atonement -- Fiction; Clergy -- England -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
Prolonged solitude may debase a man to the savage or exalt him to the
saint; it never leaves him the mere man he was. Robert Carlton was still
too human to merit for a moment the hyperbole of saint; nevertheless he
developed in his loneliness several of those traits which are less of
this world than of a better. His mind dwelt continuously upon holy
things; it had ceased altogether to feed upon itself. He had suffered no
more sickness, either of body or of soul, such as that which had
threatened to destroy both in the first awful winter. The whole man was
chastened, purified, simplified and refined, by the consuming fires
through which he had passed. His faith had never been stronger than it
was now; it had never, never been so near in sheer simplicity to the
faith of a little child. In a word, and little as he knew it, this great
sinner, proven libertine, suspected incendiary, was now living in the
very sight and smile of God; and even His humblest creatures loved and
trusted him as never in the days of prosperity and good report; for now
he loved them first. Nature, indeed, had not endowed him with that
sympathetic insight into inferior life--that genius for herself--which
is born in most people who are to have it at all. To Robert Carlton the
talent only came in his lonely and dishonoured prime, as the solace of
his exile, as a new interest and occupation for his mind, and surely
also as a sign of grace returning. There grew upon him in these years
the knowledge and love of very little things, trodden under foot or
brushed aside until now; a larger passion for nature in all her moods,
and all their manifestations; and, above all, the equal peace and
independence of him to whom the grasses whisper and the elements sing.
So one wind braced him to titanic effort, and another confirmed him in
patient toil, and another relaxed both mind and members in merited ease;
so he came to know the birds about him, almost as a shepherd knows his
sheep, and even to discover some individuality beneath the feathers.
There was one huge sparrow, a perfect demon for the crumbs which Carlton
strewed every morning near the scene of his day's work, so that he might
not be quite alone. The lowest human qualities came out in this small
bird until finally, and with infinite ingenuity, it was trapped,
rationed, and compelled to watch a feast of the smaller fry through the
wires of a cage. Then there was a robin which in time came to perch upon
the solitary's hat while he worked; only in the beginning were there
crumbs in the brim. And again there was a starling that entertained him
by the hour together, and all for love, from an elder-bush close to the
shed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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