Atonement -- Fiction; Clergy -- England -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
She did desire to show off, if it was showing off to honour openly the
man whom she admired and wished others to admire. She gloried in the
man's achievement, and possibly also in her own appreciation of it and
him. That was her real point of contact with the saddler. But for
Fuller there was the excuse of unconsciousness, and for Gwynneth there
was not. So she read herself that Sunday morning, under an August sky
without a fleck and a sun that drew the resin from those very pine-trees
upon which the outcast had so often gazed. It was thereabouts that
Gwynneth lingered, of self-analysis all compact. Then the hoarse bell
began--came calling up to her from the clump of chestnuts and of
elms--calling like a friend in pain . . .
Gwynneth reached church by way of the strip of glebe behind it and the
gate into this from the lane, thus escaping the throng already gathered
at the other gate. She saw nothing but the rude benches as she entered
in; the last of these was too near for her; she shrank to the far end of
it, close against the wall, and the bell stopped as she sank upon her
knees. The beating of her heart seemed to take its place. Then there
came a light yet measured step. It passed very near, with a subdued and
subtle rustle, that might yet have meant one other woman. But Gwynneth
knew better, though she never looked.
"_I will arise, and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I
have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be
called thy son._"
Already the girl could not see; all her being was involved in an effort
to suppress a sob. It was suppressed. There were no tears in the voice
that so moved Gwynneth. How serene it was, though sad! It began to
soothe her, as she remembered that it had done when she was quite a
little girl. She was a little girl again: these five years fled . . .
But oh, why had he chosen _that_ sentence of the scriptures? Gwynneth
looked at her book (for now she could see) and found that some of the
others would have been worse.
At last she could raise her eyes; and there was Fuller in the very
front; and not another soul.
But Gwynneth cared for nothing any more except the gentle voice that it
was her pride to follow in the general confession, kneeling indeed, yet
kneeling bolt upright in her proud allegiance.
A strange picture, the rude benches, the ragged walls; the east window
still a chasm, the hot sun streaming through it down the aisle; and over
all the blue cruciform of sky, broken only by the nodding plumes of the
taller elms. And a congregation yet more strange--only Gwynneth and the
saddler. But this did not continue. Gwynneth heard movements in the
porch behind her, and presently a stumble on the part of one driven in
by the press; but no voices; not a whisper; and ere-long he who had been
forced in, tired of standing, came on tiptoe and occupied the end of
Gwynneth's bench.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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