“Pa said he didn't care nothing about her lady's only, all he wanted was to converse with an acquaintance, and then one of the policemen came along and told Pa he had better go down to the saloon where he belonged. Pa excused himself to the wax woman, and said he would see her later, and told the policeman if he would come out on the sidewalk he would knock leven kinds of stuffin out of him. The policeman told him that would be all right, and I led Pa away. He was offul mad. But it was the best fun when the lights went out. You see the electric light machine slipped a cog, or lost its cud, and all of a sudden the lights went out and it was as dark as a squaw's pocket. Pa wanted to know what made it so dark, and I told him it was not dark. He said boy don't you fool me. You see I thought it would be fun to make Pa believe he was struck blind, so I told him his eyes must be wrong. He said do you mean to say you can see, and I told him everything was as plain as day, and I pointed out the different things, and explained them, and walked Pa along, and acted just as though I could see, and Pa said it had come at last. He had felt for years as though he would some day lose his eyesight and now it had come and he said he laid it all to that condamned mineral water. After a little they lit some of the gas burners, and Pa said he could see a little, and wanted to go home, and I took him home. When we got out of the building he began to see things, and said his eyes were coming around all right. Pa is the easiest man to fool ever I saw.” “Well, I should think he would kill you,” said the grocery man. “Don't he ever catch on, and find out you have deceived him?” “O, sometimes. But about nine times in ten I can get away with him. Say, don't you want to hire me for a clerk?” The grocery man said that he had rather have a spotted hyena, and the boy stole a melon and went away. CHAPTER XIV. HIS PA CATCHES OK--TWO DAYS AND NIGHTS IN THE BATH ROOM-- RELIGION CAKES THE OLD MAN'S BREAST--THE BAD BOY'S CHUM-- DRESSED UP AS A GIRL--THE OLD MAN DELUDED--THE COUPLE START FOR THE COURT HOUSE PARK--HIS MA APPEARS ON THE SCENE--“IF YOU LOVE ME KISS ME”--MA TO THE RESCUE--“I AM DEAD AM I?” HIS PA THROWS A CHAIR THROUGH THE TRANSOM. “Where have you been for a week back,” asked the grocery man of the bad boy, as the boy pulled the tail board out of the delivery wagon accidentally and let a couple of bushels of potatoes roll out into the gutter. “I haven't seen you around here, and you look pale. You haven't been sick, have you?” “No, I have not been sick. Pa locked me up in the bath-room for two days and two nights, and didn't give me nothing to eat but bread and water. Since he has got religious he seems to be harder than ever on me. Say, do you think religion softens a man's heart, or does it give him a caked breast? I 'spect Pa will burn me at the stake next.”