Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
Since then these gentlemen have all learned that the fashion calls for a
red strip at the bottom of a dress, and they will make no more mistakes.
But they were all serious enough, and their interference was prompted by
pure kindness of heart, and not from any wicked thoughts.
THE MAN FROM DUBUQUE.
Last week, a young man from the country west of here came in on the
evening train and walked up to Grand avenue, with a fresh looking young
woman hanging on to one handle of a satchel while he held the other.
They turned into the Plankinton House, and with a wild light in his eye
the man went to the book and registered his name and that of the lady
with him.
While the clerk was picking out a couple of rooms that were near
together, the man looked around at the colored man who had the satchel,
and as the clerk said, “Show the gentleman to No. 65 and the lady to
67,” he said, “Hold on, 'squire! One room will do.”
On being shown to the room, the bridegroom came right out with the
bell boy and appeared at the office. Picking out a benevolent looking
gentleman, with a good place to raise hair on his head, who was behind
the counter, the groom said:
“Say, can a man enjoy religion in this house?”
Mr. White said a man could if he brought it with him. They had none on
hand to issue out to guests, but they never interfered with those who
had it when they arrived.
“Why,” says the manager of the house, “has anybody interfered with your
devotions here?”
“No, not here,” said the man, wiping his fore-head with a red
handkerchief. “But they have at Dubuque. I'll tell you how it was. I
was married a couple of days ago, and night before last I put up at a
Dubuque hotel. My wife never had been married before, any at all, and
she is timid, and thinks everybody is watching us, and making fun of us.
“She jumps at the slightest sound. Well, we went to our room in the
afternoon, and she began to cry, and said if she wasn't married she
never would be the longest day she lived. I sort of put my arm around
her, and was just telling her that everybody had to get married, when
there was a knock on the door, and she jumped more than thirty feet.
“You see that finger. Well, a pin in her belt stuck clear through,
and came near making me faint away. I held my finger in my mouth, and
telling her the house was not on fire, I went to the door and there was
a porter there who wanted to know if I wanted any more coal on the fire.
I drove him away, and sat down in a big rocking chair with my wife in my
lap, and was stroking her hair and telling her that if she would forgive
me for marrying I never would do so again, and trying to make her feel
more at home, when there came another knock at the door, and she jumped
clear across the room and knocked over a water pitcher.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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