Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
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Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
Geo. W. Peck, of the _Sun_, recently delivered an address before the
Wisconsin State Dairyman's Association. The following is an extract from
the document:
_Fellow creamationists_: In calling upon me, on this occasion,
to enlighten you upon a subject that is dear to the hearts of all
Americans, you have got the right man in the right place. It makes me
proud to come to my old home and unfold truths that have been folded
since I can remember. It may be said by scoffers, and it has been said
to-day, in my presence, that I didn't know enough to even milk a cow. I
deny the allegation; show me the allegator. If any gentleman present has
got a cow here with him, and I can borrow a clothes-wringer, I will show
you whether I can milk a cow or not. Or, if there is a cheese mine here
handy, I will demonstrate that I can--_runnet_.
The manufacture of cheese and butter has been among the earliest
industries. Away back in the history of the world, we find Adam and Eve
conveying their milk from the garden of Eden, in a one-horse wagon to
the cool spring cheese factory, to be weighed in the balance. Whatever
may be said of Adam and Eve to their discredit in the marketing of the
products of their orchard, it has never been charged that they stopped
at the pump and put water in their milk cans. Doubtless you all remember
how Cain killed his brother Abel because Abel would not let him do the
churning. We can picture Cain and Abel driving mooly cows up to the
house from the pasture in the southeast corner of the garden, and Adam
standing at the bars with a tin pail and a three-legged stool, smoking
a meerschaum pipe and singing “Hold the fort for I am coming through
the rye,” while Eve sat on the verandah altering over her last year's
polonaise, and winking at the devil who stood behind the milk house
singing, “I want to be an angel.” After he got through milking he came
up and saw Eve blushing, and he said, “Madame, cheese it,” and she chose
it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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