Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882 — John Shaqi
Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
He walked toward the goat, with “his eyes sot,” and Mr. Crossman says
one spell he thought, by the way the goat looked sheepish, that Crombie
was a regular lion tamer, but just as he was about to paralyze the
animal, Mr. Crombie caught the strings of his drawers, which were
dragging on the ground, in the nails of a barrel hoop, and as he stooped
down to untangle them the goat kicked him with his head, at a point
about two chains and three links in a northwesterly direction from the
small of his back. Crombie gave a sigh, said, “I die by the hand of an
assassin,” and jumped up on a wagon, with the barrel stave and hatchet,
and the hoop tangled in his legs.
The goat had three of them treed, and was looking for other worlds
to conquer, when Mr. Nowell, who was out for a walk, saw the living
statues, and came in to hear the news. Mr. Crossmair said he didn't know
what had got into the goat, unless it was a tin pail or a lawn mower
that was in the barn, but he was evidently mad, and he advised Mr.
No-well to go for the police.
Nowell said a man that had raised cub bears had no right to be afraid of
a goat. He said all you wanted to do, in subduing the spirit of animals,
was to gain their confidence. He said he could, in two minutes, so win
the affections of that goat that it would follow him about like a dog,
and he went up and stroked the animal's head, scratched its ear, and
asked them if they could not see they had taken the wrong course with
the goat. He said a goat was a good deal like a human being. You could
coax, but you could not drive. “Come, Billy,” said he, as he moved off,
snapping his fingers.
It is Mr. Nowell's unbiased opinion that Billy _did_ come. Not that he
saw Billy come, but he had a vague suspicion, from a feeling of numbness
some two feet from the base of the brain, that William had arrived
in that immediate vicinity, and while he was recalling his scattered
thoughts and feeling for any pieces of spine that might have become
detached from the original column, Billy came again and caught three of
Mr. Nowell's fingers in the pile driver. That was talk enough between
gentlemen, and Mr. Nowell got his back against a fence and climbed up on
top backwards.
When he caught his breath he said that was the worst shock he ever
experienced since he fell off the step ladder last summer. He said he
had rather break a bear to ride any time.
At this point Mr. Crombie espied a letter carrier on the other side of
the street, and called him over. He told the letter carrier if he would
step into the yard and drive the goat in the barn they would all unite
in a petition to have the salaries of letter carriers raised. There is
no class of citizens more accommodating than our letter carriers, and
this one came in and walked up to the goat and pushed the animal with
his foot.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account