I say the latter, because sooth it is, that half in anger, half in
thought to bring her in for a talk, I once had it on my mind to send
Peg's chair again into exile. Indeed, I did put it out of the room. But
only for a moment; the wick of my courage burned dim, and I fell to
be in utmost haste to restore that leathern furnishment, breathing the
while in a quick, craven fashion of respiration, lest she surprise me
before the situation was repaired. Thus it stood; the chair and I in the
room, and both desolate, with Peg going each day by like a watchman on
his rounds, to glance in and be assured.
These conditions of separation between Peg and myself, as days went on,
would give me less and less of ease. I was forever carrying them on the
ridge of my thought, and they made an unhappy element in life's skyline.
I stood the more in grief, since to be out with little Peg was like a
quarrel with a child; and then, moreover, the fault of it was mine, for
I overstepped an obvious line of right conduct when I went forth upon
Eaton's disparagement. It was a fool's work, besides; for I might have
known she would be sharp to notice and as sharply bound to resent; had
she not already warned me how I disfavored Eaton, and told me I was
jealous? She would say, truly, she did not care for that jealousy; but
that was mere laughter when her fancy was at merriest. Also, she had
told how I did not know her, and never would see her true self; I began
now to understand that she was right. And yet I would have her back, and
our old frank confidence returned; for Peg, as I tell you, was only
a child--a prankish girl when all was in, and it made no more for my
credit than for my peace that we should be at crosses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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