The stiff waiter bowed solemnly, and withdrew slowly. I looked round the room once more, and discovered the additional adornments of a tea-urn, and a book. "Thank Heaven," thought I, as I took up the latter, "it can't be one of Jeremy Bentham's." No! it was the Cheltenham Guide. I turned to the head of amusements--"Dress ball at the rooms every--" some day or other--which of the seven I utterly forget; but it was the same as that which witnessed my first arrival in the small drawing-room of the--Hotel. "Thank Heaven!" said I to myself, as Bedos entered with my things, and was ordered immediately to have all in preparation for "the dressball at the rooms," at the hour of half-past ten. The waiter entered with the bill. "Soups, chops, cutlets, steaks, roast joints, birds." "Get some soup," said I, "a slice or two of lion, and half a dozen birds." "Sir," said the solemn waiter, "you can't have less than a whole lion, and we have only two birds in the house." "Pray," asked I, "are you in the habit of supplying your larder from Exeter 'Change, or do you breed lions here like poultry?" "Sir," answered the grim waiter, never relaxing into a smile, "we have lions brought us from the country every day." "What do you pay for them?" said I. "About three and sixpence a-piece, Sir." "Humph!--market in Africa overstocked," thought I. "Pray, how do you dress an animal of that description?" "Roast and stuff him, Sir, and serve him up with currant jelly." "What! like a hare?" "It is a hare, Sir." "What!" "Yes, Sir, it is a hare! [Note: I have since learned, that this custom of calling a hare a lion is not peculiar to Cheltenham. At that time I was utterly unacquainted with the regulations of the London coffee-houses.]-- but we call it a lion, because of the Game Laws." 'Bright discovery,' thought I; 'they have a new language in Cheltenham: nothing's like travelling to enlarge the mind.' "And the birds," said I, aloud, "are neither humming birds, nor ostriches, I suppose?" "No, Sir; they are partridges." "Well, then, give me some soup; a cotelette de mouton, and a 'bird,' as you term it, and be quick about it." "It shall be done with dispatch," answered the pompous attendant, and withdrew.