"Certainly I do," replied his lordship; "but what can he have to do with this matter?" "A great deal," replied Erpingham; "he is, as I suppose you know, an impertinent chatter-box, and whatever is trusted to him as a profound secret is sure to be known to all the world; so I communicated to him that Miss Primrose was in the high road to be placed under the protection of the Right Honorable Lord Spoonbill, and by this time Smatterton and its adjoining village is already in possession of the important secret." On hearing this, Lord Spoonbill started, as if with a strong sense of moral indignation, and exclaimed: "Erpingham, are you mad? What could you mean by circulating such a report? Suppose I should intend to marry Miss Primrose!" "Why, then you are less likely to have a rival." Although Lord Spoonbill was quite as profligate and unprincipled as Mr Erpingham, yet as his profligacy and want of principle were not managed and directed precisely after the model of the same vices in the conduct of his friend, his lordship took credit to himself that he could enjoy the pleasure of reproving the vicious principles of this Epicurean. But though he expressed a feeling of indignation at the cool, deliberate viciousness of this son of luxury and sensuality, he felt no little satisfaction in the thought that this report must infallibly reach the ears of Mr Robert Darnley, and thus prevent any further attempt on his part to renew the acquaintance with Penelope. It may seem rather strange to some part of our readers, that a man who could descend to the meanness of intercepting letters, should lift up his voice and turn up his eyes at the sin of circulating false reports touching the character and situation of a young woman, and that this same man should deliberately meditate on schemes for placing that young woman in that situation which he professed to think so degrading. But there is a wonderful difference in the apprehension which men entertain of the same vices under different circumstances. There is also observable in the feelings of Lord Spoonbill, on the present occasion, the readiness and satisfaction with which a man will cheerfully avail himself of the benefits derivable from the vicious or unprincipled conduct of others. The Right Honorable Lord Spoonbill seemed to think that his friend Erpingham had behaved very unhandsomely and disrespectfully to Penelope by causing such a rumour to get into circulation; but, when it occurred to him that some advantage might be taken of the said rumour, his indignation was abated, and all his reproof was softened down into merely saying: "Really, Erpingham, you are too bad."