Penelope's English Experiences: Being Extracts from the Commonplace Book of Penelope Hamilton — John Shaqi
Penelope's English Experiences: Being Extracts from the Commonplace Book of Penelope HamiltonWiggin, Kate Douglas Smith
General
Penelope's English Experiences: Being Extracts from the Commonplace Book of Penelope Hamilton
Wiggin, Kate Douglas Smith
Americans -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“It only goes to prove what Salemina remarked yesterday,” I said: “that
we can go on doing a thing quite properly until we have seen the rule
for it printed in black and white. The moment we read the formula we
fail to see how we could ever have followed it; we are confused by its
complexities, and we do not feel the slightest confidence in our ability
to do consciously the thing we have done all our lives unconsciously.”
“Like the centipede,” quoted Salemina:--
“'The centipede was happy quite
Until the toad, for fun,
Said, “Pray, which leg goes after which?”
Which wrought his mind to such a pitch,
He lay distracted in a ditch
Considering how to run!'”
“The Table of Kindred and Affinity is all too familiar to me,” sighed
Hilda, “because we had a governess who made us learn it as a punishment.
I suppose I could recite it now, although I haven't looked at it for ten
years. We used to chant it in the nursery schoolroom on wet afternoons.
I well remember that the vicar called one day to see us, and the
governess, hearing our voices uplifted in a pious measure, drew him
under the window to listen. This is what he heard--you will see how
admirably it goes! And do not imagine it is wicked: it is merely the
Law, not the Gospel, and we framed our own musical settings, so that we
had no associations with the Prayer Book.”
Here Hilda chanted softly, there being no one in the old churchyard:--
“A woman may not marry with her Grandfather. Grandmother's Husband,
Husband's Grandfather.. Father's Brother. Mother's Brother. Father's
Sister's Husband.. Mother's Sister's Husband. Husband's Father's
Brother. Husband's Mother's Brother.. Father. Step-Father. Husband's
Father.. Son. Husband's Son. Daughter's Husband.. Brother. Husband's
Brother. Sister's Husband.. Son's Son. Daughter's Son. Son's Daughter's
Husband.. Daughter's Daughter's Husband. Husband's Son's Son. Husband's
Daughter's Son .. Brother's Son. Sister's Son. Brother's Daughter's
Husband.. Sister's Daughter's Husband. Husband's Brother's Son.
Husband's Sister's Son.”
“It seems as if there were nobody left,” I said disconsolately, “save
perhaps your Second Cousin's Uncle, or your Enemy's Dearest Friend.”
“That's just the effect it has on one,” answered Hilda. “We always used
to conclude our chant with the advice:--
“And if there is anybody, after this, in the universe. left to. marry..
marry him as expeditiously. as you. possibly. can.. Because there are
very few husbands omitted from this table of. Kindred and. Affinity..
And it behoveth a maiden to snap them up without any delay. willing or
unwilling. whenever and. wherever found.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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