Civilization, Western -- Fiction; France -- Civilization -- Fiction; Penguins -- Fiction; Satire
“Having carefully studied,” said he, “the papers found in Pyrot’s
house, in particular his account book and his laundry books, I noticed
that, though apparently not out of the common, they formed an
impenetrable cryptogram, the key to which, however, I discovered. The
traitor’s infamy is to be seen in every line. In this system of writing
the words ‘Three glasses of beer and twenty francs for Adèle’ mean ‘I
have delivered thirty thousand trusses of hay to a neighbouring Power.’
From these documents I have even been able to establish the composition
of the hay delivered by this officer. The words waistcoat, drawers,
pocket handkerchief, collars, drink, tobacco, cigars, mean clover,
meadowgrass, lucern, burnet, oats, rye-grass, vernal-grass, and common
cat’s tail grass. And these are precisely the constituents of the hay
furnished by Count Maubec to the Penguin cavalry. In this way Pyrot
mentioned his crimes in a language that he believed would always remain
indecipherable. One is confounded by so much astuteness and so great a
want of conscience.”
Colomban, pronounced guilty without any extenuating circumstances, was
condemned to the severest penalty. The judges immediately signed a
warrant consuming him to solitary confinement.
In the Place du Palais on the sides of a river whose banks had during
the course of twelve centuries seen so great a history, fifty thousand
persons were tumultuously awaiting the result of the trial. Here were
the heads of the Anti-Pyrotist Association, among whom might be seen
Prince des Boscénos, Count Cléna, Viscount Olive, and M. de La
Trumelle; here crowded the Reverend Father Agaric and the teachers of
St. Maël College with their pupils; here the monk Douillard and General
Caraguel, embracing each other, formed a sublime group. The market
women and laundry women with spits, shovels, tongs, beetles, and
kettles full of water might be seen running across the Pont-Vieux. On
the steps in front of the bronze gates were assembled all the defenders
of Pyrot in Alca, professors, publicists, workmen, some conservatives,
others Radicals or Revolutionaries, and by their negligent dress and
fierce aspect could be recognised comrades Phœnix, Larrivée,
Lapersonne, Dagobert, and Varambille. Squeezed in his funereal
frock-coat and wearing his hat of ceremony, Bidault-Coquille invoked
the sentimental mathematics on behalf of Colomban and Colonel Hastaing.
Maniflore shone smiling and resplendent on the topmost step, anxious,
like Leaena, to deserve a glorious monument, or to be given, like
Epicharis, the praises of history.
The seven hundred Pyrotists disguised as lemonade sellers,
gutter-merchants, collectors of odds and ends, or anti-Pyrotists,
wandered round the vast building.
When Colomban appeared, so great an uproar burst forth that, struck by
the commotion of air and water, birds fell from the trees and fishes
floated on the surface of the stream.
On all sides there were yells:
“Duck Colomban, duck him, duck him!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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