Bildungsromans; Boys -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Middle West -- Fiction
“Why, you can't DO anything,” Sam began argumentatively. “You talk
about being a show all by yourself; what could you try to do? Show us
sumpthing you can do.”
“I didn't say I was going to DO anything,” returned the badgered one,
still evading.
“Well, then, how'd you BE a show?” Penrod demanded. “WE got a show here,
even if Herman didn't point or Verman didn't talk. Their father stabbed
a man with a pitchfork, I guess, didn't he?”
“How do _I_ know?”
“Well, I guess he's in jail, ain't he?”
“Well, what if their father is in jail? I didn't say he wasn't, did I?”
“Well, YOUR father ain't in jail, is he?”
“Well, I never said he was, did I?”
“Well, then,” continued Penrod, “how could you be a----” He stopped
abruptly, staring at Roderick, the birth of an idea plainly visible in
his altered expression. He had suddenly remembered his intention to
ask Roderick Magsworth Bitts, Junior, about Rena Magsworth, and this
recollection collided in his mind with the irritation produced by
Roderick's claiming some mysterious attainment which would warrant his
setting up as a show in his single person. Penrod's whole manner changed
instantly.
“Roddy,” he asked, almost overwhelmed by a prescience of something vast
and magnificent, “Roddy, are you any relation of Rena Magsworth?”
Roderick had never heard of Rena Magsworth, although a concentration
of the sentence yesterday pronounced upon her had burned, black and
horrific, upon the face of every newspaper in the country. He was not
allowed to read the journals of the day and his family's indignation
over the sacrilegious coincidence of the name had not been expressed in
his presence. But he saw that it was an awesome name to Penrod Schofield
and Samuel Williams. Even Herman and Verman, though lacking many
educational advantages on account of a long residence in the country,
were informed on the subject of Rena Magsworth through hearsay, and they
joined in the portentous silence.
“Roddy,” repeated Penrod, “honest, is Rena Magsworth some relation of
yours?”
There is no obsession more dangerous to its victims than a conviction
especially an inherited one--of superiority: this world is so full
of Missourians. And from his earliest years Roderick Magsworth Bitts,
Junior, had been trained to believe in the importance of the Magsworth
family. At every meal he absorbed a sense of Magsworth greatness, and
yet, in his infrequent meetings with persons of his own age and sex,
he was treated as negligible. Now, dimly, he perceived that there was
a Magsworth claim of some sort which was impressive, even to boys.
Magsworth blood was the essential of all true distinction in the world,
he knew. Consequently, having been driven into a cul-de-sac, as a result
of flagrant and unfounded boasting, he was ready to take advantage of
what appeared to be a triumphal way out.
“Roddy,” said Penrod again, with solemnity, “is Rena Magsworth some
relation of yours?”
“IS she, Roddy?” asked Sam, almost hoarsely.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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