The girl nodded indifferently, but as the cot was pushed into the porch
I saw her lips quiver, saw her teeth bitten into them to hide their
quivering, and I nodded to Mrs. Mundy to go inside, and I, too, left
her for a moment and went down the steps to the little garden being
made ready for the coming of spring. Around the high fence vines had
been planted, a trellis or two put against the porch for roses and
clematis, and close to the gate an apple-tree, twisted and gnarled,
gave promise of blossoms, if not of fruit. Already I loved the garden
which was to be.
"Violets are to be here and tulips there," I said, under my breath, and
wondered if Lillie were herself again, if I could not go back. "A row
of snowdrops and bleeding-hearts would look lovely there--" Something
green and growing in a sheltered corner near the house caught my eye,
and stooping, I pulled the little blossom, and went up the steps to
Lillie's cot and gave it to her.
Eagerly she held out her hands and the silence of days was broken. The
bitterness that had filled her eyes, the scorn that had drawn her thin
lips into forbidding curves, the mask of control which had exhausted
her strength, yielded at the sight of a little brown-and-yellow flower,
and with a cry she kissed it, pressed it to her face.
"It used to grow, a long bed of it, close to the kitchen wall where it
was warm, and where it bloomed before anything else." The words came
stumblingly. "Mother loved it best of all her flowers; she had all
sorts in her garden."
With a quick turn of her head she looked at me, in her face horror, in
her eyes tumultuous pain, then threw the flower from her with a wild
movement, as if her touch had blighted it. "Why don't you let me die!"
she cried. "Oh, why don't you let me die!"
I drew a chair close to the cot and sat down by it. For a while I said
nothing. Things long locked within her, long held back, were
struggling for utterance. In the days she had been with us her silence
had been unbroken, but gradually something bitter and rebellious had
died out of her face, and into it had come a haunted, hunted look, and
yet she would not talk. Until she was ready to speak we knew it was
best to say nothing to her of days that were past, or of those that
were to come.
Mrs. Mundy had known her before she came to Scarborough Square. In a
ward of one of the city's hospitals, where her baby was born, she had
found her alone, deserted, and waiting her time. Two days after its
birth the baby died.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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