One of his regular Assignments was to arbitrate a Domestic Scrap,
merely out of the Goodness of his Heart.
In this way he managed to re-unite quite a number of Couples who were
afterward sorry that they had been reuned, and what they said about
him would get the Blue Pencil if inserted at this Point.
When a kind-hearted Herring starts out to be a Relief Bureau and First
Aid to the Injured and a portable Home for the Friendless, nobody
tries to take the Job away from him. His Acquaintances do what they
can to boost his Game.
[Illustration: _A Touch._]
Therefore when any one in that Community sought out a Busy Man of
Affairs and began to unwrap his Tale of Woe and offer to exhibit his
wounds, the B.M. of A. would say, "Here, I'll give you a Letter of
Introduction to my old friend Jasper. He is a Samaritan from away
back."
It came about that Jasper's Outer Office was frequently coagulated
with a Choice Assortment of Pan-Handlers, and all the short-winded
Brothers who want to hitch on to somebody's else Pull, as they say in
Boston.
At times Jasper would become weary of having Folks come along and
turn their Private Griefs over to him, but he did not want to become
a Cynic and lose his Faith in Human Nature. He was frequently Stung,
but still he could not resist any Appeal that was backed up by a few
Weeps.
In the Course of Time he came into quite a Bundle of Money, and then
all the Bread that he had cast on the Waters came back to him, a
Bakery at a time. Those whom he had succored came around to Sucker
him.
[Illustration: _The Promoter._]
A Promoter whose Schemes he had guaranteed, because the Man's Children
needed Shoes, now had a Chance to show his Gratitude. He let Jasper
in on the Ground Floor of a Company organized to manufacture an
Automobile that could be turned out of the Shop for $35 and would run
90 Miles on a pint of Gasoline.
Gentlemen who were getting along without Overcoats came in to see him
about Mining Stock that was sure to touch Par by January 1st. The only
Reason they came to him first, instead of tackling John W. Gates, was
that he had always been a True Friend and they wanted to put him next
to a Good Thing.
After one or two of these Gift Enterprises had been slipped to him, he
began to back water and be a trifle Sore. Yet he found it very Hard to
be discourteous to one who came in and did the Brother Act. Besides,
the Bunk who has the Joint Note already made out and ready to be
signed, usually has a Talk calculated to make a Heart of Stone mellow
to the Consistency of a Baked Apple.
What really did more than any other one Thing to cure him of his
Innate Goodness was an Experience with a Sweet Girl who was being
courted by a Hound quite unworthy of her.
The unselfish Benefactor who tries to sidetrack Weddings that are sure
to turn out unhappily is always a Candidate for the Hospital, with a
Long Shot at the Morgue.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account