After sounding the Men on the Liquor Question the long-headed Girl
made a solemn Resolve that she would never hit up anything stronger
than Cherry Sundae.
When she had her Note Book full of useful Directions she found a
Chance to try out her System. She was invited to a Swell Dinner Party
at which all the Nice Men in Town were to be rounded up. She put on
a simple White Gown and wore a Rose in her Hair, and just before
starting she locked all of her Slang words in the Escritoire, whatever
that may be.
At the Dinner she sat next to a Bachelor who had Nothing But. She
talked to him about the Panama Canal, just to show that she was no
Piker. When he wanted her to take some of the Phizz Water she made an
Awful Stand and seemed surprised that he should think that of her.
This did not prevent him from splashing in. By the time the Birds came
along he had accumulated a very neat Brannigan, and was paying a lot
of Attention to a wonderful Piece of Work sitting opposite. She wore
a Red Costume that must have cost $7,000, and although she was very
gabby and called the Men by their First Names and invited all who were
not Quitters to stand by for a Bumper, she was making fair Headway. In
fact, she seemed to have the Bunch with her.
The Wise Girl figured that they were tolerating her out of mere
Politeness. Later on, in the Drawing Room, they continued to tolerate
her the best they knew how. The Girl with the Book of Rules played a
sad little Opus on the Piano, after which the Steeple-Chaser in Red
leaped on top of the Instrument and tore out Coon Stuff with eight men
turning the Music for her.
And these were the Eight who had told the Girl back in the Corner all
about the Qualities in Woman that would help to attract Men. She went
home thinking it over and the next time she started for a Dinner, she
added a Dash of Red and a few Brilliants to the Costume and cut loose
up to a reasonable Limit. She got along first-rate, even though she
was doing a lot of Things that none of the Men approve, but somehow
love to put up with.
* * * * *
MORAL: He can always pick out the Right Kind for the Other Fellow.
* * * * *
_WHAT THEY HAD LAID OUT FOR THEIR VACATION_
A man who had three weeks of Vacation coming to him began to get busy
with an Atlas about April 1st. He and his Wife figured that by keeping
on the Jump they could do Niagara, Thousand Islands, Atlantic City,
The Mammoth Cave and cover the Great Lakes.
On April 10th they decided to charter a House-Boat and float down the
Mississippi.
On April 20th he heard of a Cheap Excursion to California with a
stop-over Privilege at every Station and they began to read up on Salt
Lake and Yellowstone.
On May 1st she flashed a Prospectus of a Northern Lake Resort where
Boats and Minnows were free and Nature was ever smiling.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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