Until the day before the party at the mines he had been content to
drift, but a certain moment down in his own mine had given a new and
abrupt turn to both thoughts and purpose. Ida might have spared herself
her agonies of shame: she had not betrayed her love, but she had given
him a distinct impression that she was employing her redoubtable
feminine weapons to reduce him to his old allegiance. He had remembered
for a poignant moment that he once had loved this woman to distraction,
and during that moment he saw her again as the most beautiful and
distracting of her sex. His brief surrender had filled him with fury.
He had no intention of despising himself. From boyhood up he had had
nothing but contempt for the man that did not know his own mind. If
it had not been for this serene confidence in himself, he, who was
constitutionally wary in spite of the secret and wistful springs of
romance in his nature and the apparent suddenness of his bold plunges,
never would have married Ida Hook, nor any woman, until he had sounded
her thoroughly. But he had behaved like any hot-headed and conceited
young fool, and, much as he now admired Ida, it both infuriated him and
appalled him to feel even for a moment toward her as he had in his raw
inexperienced youth.
He therefore made up his mind to go to her like a rational being and
ask her to give him his freedom. They had made a mistake. They were
reasonable members of an advanced civilisation, where mistakes were
recognised and rectified whenever possible. He did not doubt for a
moment that reason and logic must appeal as forcibly to a woman as to
himself.
The door of his wife’s house was opened after the usual delay, and the
maid told him that Mrs. Compton was upstairs in the billiard room “or
somewheres.” He took the stairs three steps at a time lest his courage
evaporate; but drew a long breath of relief when he entered the large
square hall and saw nothing of Ida. He would have rung for the maid,
but reflected that no doubt he had already provided enough gossip
for the republic below stairs without admitting that he did not know
his way round his wife’s house. He was about to knock on each door
in turn when he noticed that one in a corner at the end of the hall
was open and that it led into a narrow passageway. Beyond there was
light, possibly in one of those boudoirs of which he had heard. Mrs.
Murphy would have been sure to have a boudoir, and no doubt Ida, little
disposed as she was to indolence, spent some part of her mornings in it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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