"In half a pig's whisper," said he, squaring his arms belligerently, "in half a pig's whisper or less, blood will flow, gore will gush and spatter--" Here, chancing to catch sight of me in the doorway, he flourished off his hat, a miserably sorry-looking object, and bowed profoundly. "Aha, Sir Oswald," quoth he, "you arrive most aptly--in the very nick, the moment, the absolute tick! If you have a mind to see a little delicate fibbing, some scientific bruising as taught by the famous Natty Bell, foot and fist-work as exhibited by Glorious John, Jem Belcher and--" "'E swallowed all my beer, 'e did, sir!" exclaimed a red-faced man in gaiters and smock-frock, "in one gullup--so quick no 'and could stay the deed! Stole me beer an' can't deny it--" "No, by heaven!" exclaimed the down-at-heels gentleman. "I drank the fellow's beer, every drop--could have drunk more. Our fat and furious friend labours under a delusion, for to drink good beer with a man out of that man's own pot is surely a mark of high esteem--" "Dang your 'steem!" cried the stout fellow, flourishing his empty tankard threateningly. "A chap as thieves a chap's beer is a chap as can't be no chap's friend! 'Ow about it, you chaps?" quoth he, appealing to his fellows. "Shall us let a chap thieve a chap's beer an' not kick that chap out where that chap belongs--'ow about it?" Whereupon came the answering chorus: "Aye, Sim, go for 'im, lad--we'm wi' 'ee! Pitch 'im out! Duck 'im in th' 'orsepond!" At this juncture spake one I deemed to be the landlord, a gloomy being who drooped above a small bar in one corner. "Do as ye will, neighbours all, do as ye will--only don't break nothink--them as breaks, pays!" "One moment, please!" said I, stepping forward. "If the gentleman committed the solecism complained of, it was, I am sure, not so much a wish to offend as an error of judgment--" "Admirably expressed, sir!" exclaimed the gentleman in question. "And suffer me to add--the exigencies of fortune and circumstance!" "Therefore," I continued, returning the gentleman's polite bow, "I shall be happy to make such restitution on his behalf as I may." At this there fell a strange silence during which every eye was fixed on me in somewhat disconcerting fashion, feet shuffled, heads were scratched. "Ax your pardon, sir--" said the red-faced man at last, rasping shaven chin with tankard rim, "but if you could manage to talk a little less furrin'--more plain English-like?" "I mean I will buy more beer for you--and any one else who--" "D'ye hear that, landlord?" cried a voice. "The genelman do mean pots all round!" "Do ye mean that same, sir?" enquired the landlord, glooming and doubtful. "I will pay for as many pots as they can drink, for good-fellowship's sake," said I, and laid down a coin.