The starmen had vanished into the night that is deepest just before
dawn, when the sky is black and most mysterious. They had ordered the
guards away, their lifts had whirled, they rose, and far above the
Earth there were ruby tongues of jets and the volcanic roar of power.
The airport lay desolate.
... In his ship, Herb could not sleep. He kept reviewing the time he
had spent alone with Norma. It was difficult to remember clearly. What
few things he could remember would, he was afraid, be lost forever in
the jungle of confusion that was his mind unless he went over them
again and again and planted them firmly and deeply into his being.
What an alien and lovely name, Norma. Something about her was so quiet
and reassuring. He wanted to bury his head against her breasts and
whisper, "I wish I could save your planet, but I can't." He had wanted
to confess to her, but he could not. If she had discovered.... But now,
in the darkness, on the narrow cot, he thought about her and buried his
head against her soft breasts, and he smelled the cool darkness of the
perfume, and he spoke to her and told her the truth, and she understood
his hurt and knew the necessity and forgave him....
* * * * *
The trouble began one week after the take off. The Oligarch read well
the signals of its arrival, but he did nothing. A scene would be bad
for the crew's morale. He thought it would be a tonic to his own. It
would prove the validity of his conclusion: that the indoctrinated
starman called Leslie would crack up on the seventh day.
It happened, as he imagined it would, shortly after Leslie had filled
out his dream form.
It was in the messhall.
Without warning Leslie kicked over his chair. His face twisted. His
hands whitened at the knuckles. There was an insane expression in his
eyes. He looked slowly around the table.
With his first movement there came silence; it was instantaneous; it
was as though the clock had stopped in a parlor of corpses. No one
moved.
He screamed a great, searing curse. The word was English.
The crew waited. No one breathed.
Leslie began to break things with mounting fury. He shattered his plate
by slamming it savagely to the table. He threw his cup against the far
wall.
They waited. Many of them cried inward encouragement to insanity.
"Lies!" he screamed in English. "Lies! _There is no Universe!_"
He fell to his hands and knees and growled and snapped like an animal.
The Oligarch felt his detachment shatter. Hurriedly he left his table
and went to Leslie and killed him.
Breathing with difficulty, he arose and addressed the crew. "This
is what happens to a man who lies on his dream form." They rustled
uneasily. "Go back to your meal."
One by one they resumed eating. Slowly conversation grew and expanded
from whispers to abnormal loudness and then back to whispers again.
The ubiquitous microphones peered up eagerly from the tables, and the
hungry record tapes consumed the sounds.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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