If I had not been such an amateur I should doubtless have done it better; but it was disconcerting, after getting safely on my back, to find that I was several feet away from my automobile. I think it was then that I swore, but I am not sure. I know I swore about that time; but whether it was just then, or while edging over to the automobile, I cannot positively say. I remember making up my mind to swear again as soon as I got my head and chest under the automobile, not because I am a swearing man, but to impress the crowd with the fact that I was not there because I liked it. I wanted them to think I detested it. I did detest it. But I did not swear. As my eyes looked upward for the first time at the underneath of my automobile, I saw this legend painted upon it: “Don't swear. Drink Glenguzzle.” [Illustration: 96] Peering out from under my automobile, I caught Perkins's eye. It was bright and triumphant. I looked about and across the avenue I saw another automobile standing. As I look back, I think the crowd may have been justified in thinking me insane. At any rate, they crossed the avenue with me, and applauded me when I lay down under the other man's automobile. When I emerged, they called my attention to several other automobiles that were standing near, and were really disappointed when I refused to lie down under them. I did refuse, however, for I had seen enough. This automobile also bore on its underside the words: “Don't swear. Drink Glenguzzle.” And I was willing to believe that they were on all the automobiles. I walked across the avenue again and shook hands with Perkins. “It's great!” I said, enthusiastically. Perkins nodded. He knew what I meant. He knew I appreciated his genius. In my mind's eye I saw thousands and thousands of automobiles, in all parts of our great land, and all of them standing patiently while men lay on their backs under them, looking upward and wanting to swear. It was a glorious vision. I squeezed Perkins's hand. “It's glorious!” I exclaimed. VI. THE ADVENTURE OF THE POET ABOUT the time Perkins and I were booming our justly famous Codliver Capsules,--you know them, of course, “sales, ten million boxes a year,”--I met Kate. She was sweet and pink as the Codliver Capsules. You recall the verse that went:-- “'Pretty Polly, do you think, Blue is prettier, or pink?' 'Pink, sir,' Polly said, 'by far; Thus Codliver Capsules are.'” You see, we put them up in pink capsules. “The pink capsules for the pale corpuscles.” Perkins invented the phrase. It was worth forty thousand dollars to us. Wonderful man, Perkins!