It took his drugged mind three whole days to grasp its new realities. He
had been wounded, badly wounded. (How, he could not yet remember.) His
left thigh-bone was shattered; his right foot badly smashed. The thing
above him—which made the bed seem like a four-poster—was a
“super-structure”: a frame-work with a pulley arrangement whereby his
left leg, a mass of bandages, could be hauled up and down for dressing.
Both left leg and right foot were “septic”: in the wounds, had been
inserted indiarubber-tubing—Carrel-Dakin tubes—to drain them. The
changing of these tubes caused him constant pain.
The screens round his bed prevented him from seeing the other patients
in the ward. But he knew them to be many; and, lying awake at night, he
could hear the orderlies shuffling round in their list slippers: their
“Are you awake, sir?” sounded an unceasing chorus to his dreams.
For the alert clean-shaven doctor had only reduced, not stopped, the
morphia: and Francis had many dreams. They came as the morphia-wave
surged over him in comfortable pain-killing warmth; receded as the wave
ebbed, leaving him prey to suffering. And always, in his dreams, he saw
Beatrice, a gracious figure vignetted in silver radiance against the
background of his thought. It seemed as though her spirit watched over
him, tender, infinitely solicitous. . . .
He had been in hospital eight days before it was borne in on his dazed
intellect that he must write to her. They fought him, sisters and
doctor, for three weary hours. “He was too ill to write letters,” said
the doctor. “Let me write for you,” begged Sister Prothero. But Francis
insisted. They could neither persuade nor coerce him. He would write a
letter; write it with his own hand. Lying there, feverish, broken, not
even certain of the exact words his lips uttered, he forced them to his
will. At last, they yielded—for they knew his chance of life still hung
by a hair: and an orderly brought him paper, an envelope, an indelible
pencil.
The sister propped him with pillows. As she lifted him, he felt his head
turning, spinning. . . . Yet he wrote, tracing each word with pain. A
letter of lies, of glorious lies. He was in hospital, wounded—only
slightly wounded, she must understand—in a few days, he would be about
again—would write her a long letter—meanwhile, he sent his “very kind
regards.” He folded the sheet himself; put it in the envelope; wrote the
address; signed in the left-hand bottom corner. . . . Then he fainted;
and, for a week, doctor and sisters blamed themselves for their
yielding, fearful lest the man should die.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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